Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink. More Aussie nonsense for Theme Thursday. It's been a hellish week and my sense of humour has left me dry as a dead dingo's donger but here goes.
I live on the world's largest island continent. Apparently as our national anthem would have us believe we are 'girt' by sea so water is everywhere along the coast and pretty much nowhere in the centre. The problem with the apparent propensity of gulf water is it's salty. No good for drinking, no good for irrigation. Oh Hai! Let's build a salt water chlorination plant that will service 5,000 homes for a gazillion dollars . . mmmm one gazillion dollorrres . . .
We've been under 'water restrictions' for nigh (does anyone say 'nigh' anymore) on 10 years. Drought still ravages north western NSW and QLD and SA. Hay is $19 a bale - the horse owner's barometer on drought recovery - we're not allowed to use a hose and can only water plants twice a week. Bushfires in Victoria from Christmas are a direct result of poor rains and land management (well and an arsonist or two).
The more resourceful of us capture our grey water from the washing machine and plough it on the garden or stand in showers with a bucket at hand to succour every drop. Prices have increased 100 fold to encourage us to become the great unwashed and yet . come January while Victoria is burning, north Queensland floods. In February NSW has it's highest rainfall for, um a lot of years, except in the catchments and Kakadu comes to life as it always does with the torrential monsoon rains.
We buy water in bottles because apparently our tap water isn't good enough (rubbish). We have shower saving devices that mean even someone my size has to run around to get wet. We've invented new things like 'drip feed' irrigation and yet our water management policies suck ass.
Why? In a country that is so deprived of water do we have open irrigation channels in parched areas? Why? In a country that is so deprived of water do we feel the need to have clean cars? Why? In a country that is so deprived of water do we feel the need to hose leaves from our driveways? Why in a country so deprived of water are we one of the worlds exporters of rice and cotton?
I have a solution. Charge an INCREDIBLE amount for water usage. I mean treble what we pay now. Stop Coca Cola mining our deep springs and putting it in bottles which only cause problems with landfill and dupe a susceptible public into believing it's actually better than what comes out of the tap. Seriously, people are less inclined to recycle water bottles than any other recyclable material. Charge $10 a bottle for your pretentious"Mineral Water" with the pink lid. Or recycle the bottle, fill it with perfectly pure tap water and pretend! Shit! We do!
Build catchments where it rains . .you wouldn't believe it but the major Sydney catchment is way west at a place called Warragamba where it hardly ever rains. Fuck the NIMBY's and ploink one in Epping or selubrious Beecroft because it always rains there. They're forever complaining that their gum trees fall over after a storm . Why? Too much overwatering!
Stop believing these nutritionists that tell you 8 glasses of water a day is healthy. It isn't, you pee in it, you brush your teeth with it, you brew a cup of tea with it, you make wine with it . . . for God's sake there's no need to drink it straight. It's just not meant to be drunk on it's own. Why do you think they invented cordial or cold distillation? Water is so boring it needed flavour!
Get this, if I want to use my pressure hose (which by the way uses less than 80% of water dispensed by a normal garden hose, it's illegal but I can pay someone to come and do it because they have a permit and their business depends upon it.
Then I'm OK cos I've got a speshal permit . .Landscapers get away with murder!