Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Fuckwit

Rather difficult getting in the 'mood' for a Friday Fuckwit today. I took the day off (preplanned and nothing to do with the state of the markets this week) to have lunch with some former work colleagues. Suzie who only makes sense after a couple of drinks, Vince (ex boss who's previous and current secretaries seem to think he's difficult to work with and have both gone on stress leave or secondment), Richard nerdy project manager and Alan who looks more like Richard Gere on a bad hair day every time I meet him. I like him. Handsome, funny, single . . although he has five children which is a little confronting. Even our waiter looked very much like the Brasilian manicure man only a little more butch so eye candy everywhere!

After 3 hours at lunch in Liverpool Street (Spanish Quarter) and a belly full of Sangria and seafood paella I'm pretty chill. Even the bus ride home was made tolerable by Vince being there for 3/4 of the trip. We chatted and once he left (although there's something a bit weird about kissing your ex-boss on a bus before he disembarks) I just plugged in the iPod and 'ntz'd ntz'd' all the way home to some rather fine Pnau!

So here I sit, chardy charged, full bellied and full bodied on what has been a glorious warm spring day thinking of someone or something to berate! Aww c'mon you didn't think I'd disappoint! This time I'm going for the entire Eastern Block of Europe!

It seems that the eastern block has either no internet, expensive internet, slow internet or no mobile phone coverage. A message from my intrepid traveller sent on the 16th arrived on the 17th and asked was I receiving her messages. Um nope. Only received that one asking if I'd received her messages. I replied and have messaged again but heard nothing. It's now been 12 days with nothing but that one message on the mobile. C'mon people this is the 21st century. There are only 27 Wifi locations in Slovenia. Get your internet network up and running and come out of the dark ages. Do not scorn an antipodean mother who frets when she goes more than 4 days without communication from her daughter! (Am I needy? Yeh. I've been told as much many times!)

Seriously, she's negotiated and communicated on the Gringo trail, the west and east coast of America, Montreal and Canada, London, Surrey, Amsterdam, Germany, Austria and Prague and as soon as she hits Slovenia . . . silence! Maybe there are hot men in Ljubljana. Oh wait, she could have reached Croatia,could be on a yacht, cruising the Dalmatian coast. Biatch!

. . . AND to the Australian customs officer who deemed 9 Christmas Decorations from the Rothenberg Christmas shop a quarantine risk . . . for goodness sake. I bought half a dozen little 'clove' rings festooned with ribbon in the same shop and never had a problem. I can bring in a Fijian wooden sword or kava bowl, a sampan hat from just about anywhere in Asia even a banana leaf mat from Papua but I can't bring in 9 Santas with straw beards sent from Rothenburg Germany. Don't get me wrong, I know the need for quarantine and the danger bugs, seeds etc. represent but a Christmas decoration from one of the most touristy shops in the world? Zealotry she cries! Now I have to pay $42.50 to have them Gamma Irradiated whatever that means. (probably a quick spray with Pine-0-Clean. Clare . . they'd better be damn pretty decorations!

Erm . . he won't fit on my tree! . . .

Don't leave me watching at the window now!


23 comments:

Ces said...

Very difficult not to know the whereabouts of your loved ones especially when they are traversing non-English speaking foreign lands. We all know the reason why the Eastern Bloc is still keeping up with the first world countries - the USSR repressed them and kept the people isolated. Have a great weekend Baino and I hope you start your book. What are you reading again? hey I had a dream i went to the national headquarters of the Girl Scouts of the USA and guess who was there? You! I wished you spoke but you didn't so I really did not hear your accent.

Thriftcriminal said...

Hmm. Here is Bill Bailey on Oz Customs :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDBPuo-iRdk

Have a good weekend!

Baino said...

Haha . .I am the woman of your dreams . .hilarious! Me? At a Girl Scout convention? Hardly although I am resourceful but look shit in khaki!

Ah I'm sure she's alright I just don't want anything to go wrong when she's only 9 weeks away from coming home. We have a ridiculously close relationship it's scarey.
I suspect the lack of internet contact is related to hostels having expensive connections and my sweet pea being 300 Euro over budget!
The book is Rose Tremaine . .The Way Home and so far it's bloody boring. Some Russian guy called Lev making his way in London to support his family back home. It won some award but . . . .hey it can only get better but I think it's going to be a sad, unrequited love story.

Get on Skype kid and I'll show you what I sound like. Very normal and boring I assure you.

Baino said...

Aww thanks possum. Bill is almost a resident here. He's over for the Comedy Festival each year and a regular guest on one of the only shows I shut up shop for . Spicks and Specks. Love Black Books too! And re the quarantine questions, he's dead on. *subliminal message - buy the kid a dog - buy Thriftypants a dog* Herself will go gaga when she sees the pup!

Miles McClagan said...

I was going to leave a thoughtful post, but now I've just ended up watching Bill Bailey videos...

"Three men walk into a pub, one of them is a bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability..."

Baino said...

Aww Miley . .it's Friday! Go out and crack onto the Gloria Jean trainee! Or stay home and have a mighty fine time watching Black Books. When you're feeling under pressure, As Manny would say, "do something different. Roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange."

Bimbimbie said...

"It seems that the eastern block has either no internet, expensive internet, slow internet or no mobile phone coverage". Ha ha it's just dawned on me our Smart State is Australia's eastern block ... better not let your daughter travel up here*!*

English Mum said...

See? This is just another example of my tried and tested theory that our children should be locked in a barrel until they're at least 25 so we can keep an eye on them.

And forty two quid for Chrimbo decorations? *subliminal message I second the first one. Get the girl a dog already* Good grief! I wonder what they had the potential to be infested with!! Have a good one Bains xx

gaia said...

Hmmm curious... Why is the only message you get is "have you received my messages?"... Curious. I remember once not writing to my mum a month, then I felt bad but didn't feel like owning up to it so I sent one asking her the same question. She never gave me hard time for that slackass period of non-correspondance with her.
Nah, I am sure Clare wouldn't do such a thing!
:p

laughingwolf said...

what would possess her to go to those places in the first place?

kick back and enjoy your weekend, just know she will contact you, once in something remotely resembling civilization....

Nick said...

Christmas decorations are a quarantine risk? How do they work that out? And you have to pay $42 to have them irradiated? You could dump them and spend the $42 on bigger and better decorations!

Talking of customs, security etc, the airlines here are planning to phase out the restrictions on liquids in hand luggage. That'll be a relief.

K8 the Gr8 said...

Can we please stop talking about Christmas? It's freaking me out, although not half as much as the demented grin on that soldier fella.

If you hadn't named the area you were ripping the piss out of, I would've thought you were talking about Ireland!!! Our house is a bit hit-and-miss with the whole phone coverage lark.

Bon weekendage!

Quickroute said...

Mobile phone coverage quality varies greatly by provider and country in Europe (especially former eastern block) - Thinking about Xmas already! - better go cut me a tree!

Quickroute said...

Mobile phone coverage quality varies greatly by provider and country in Europe (especially former eastern block) - Thinking about Xmas already! - better go cut me a tree!

Baino said...

Bimbimbie tis true. She holidays in Queensland quite a lot and the coverage particularly on the Sunshine coast is very dodgy!

Ah EM it's all my fault for giving her the travel bug, don't worry she'll be locked up for a year when she gets back. And yes, all Australian boys need a shed and all little Irish girls need a dog! (getting the message Thriftypants?)

Hey Chicka hows tricks. You naughty girl! Nah I'm fairly sure she's out of range because she hasn't posted on Facebook either. They have booked a sailing boat on the Dalmatian coast but I'm not sure when that is so not surprising really. j

LW she's got the wonderlust. Croatia particularly is very beautiful. Like the east coast of Italy only cheaper. Then their plans are fluid so who knows where they've decided to go. Could be in Turkey for all I know!

Ah but Nick these came from Rothenburg not David Jones. We have a tradition, all my Christmas decorations come from places we've travelled so she would have been highly berated if there wasn't something from the Rothenburg shop, it's truly Amazing. We already have restrictions only 100mls of liquid in cabin luggage. The manufacturers of teensy bottles are grinning from ear to ear!

Bon weekendage to you too K8 . I love Christmas but yeh, bit early for the tinsel talk I agree. This shop is open all year round. Rothenburg is like a Christmas card for all seasons. Actually the European coverage isn't that great. She said that Britain was the best because there's free wireless internet.

gaudiumdelingua said...

re. too early to talk christmas
but but, in a few weeks in Australia the Christmas preparations will begin by Myer - David Jones ads. And then all the shops will change their windows and voila! Drives me mad.
I so want to go to the Dalmatian coast, can't wait for Clare's post on it.
Gx

Miladysa said...

I'm sure you will hear from her soon. [[[hugs]]]

My eldest three can't blame the internet for their lack of calls home - when they're quiet you can guarantee that hey are having fun! It doesn't stop me worrying though!

I once spent some time in Bill Baillie's dressing room at the Comedy Club in London. He talked a lot about squirrels and guns. It was all above board of course...

laughingwolf said...

wanderlust is one thing, but wandering away from civilization for extended periods? dunno bout that....

Megan said...

'Richard Gere on a bad hair day' = priceless.

Never had to contact anyone in Slovenia, myself. Sounds rather aggravating!

My sister's friend in Croatia seems to have fine service though, judging from the number of darned plants she keeps sending me (on Facebook)...

Baino said...

Sorry Quickie, slipped in there while I wasn't looking (said the Actress to the Bishop). Well I'm thinking it must be poor internet or mobile because nobody else seems to have heard from them either. Plus I know she's 300 euro over budget so won't pay too much for internet. Still, getting a bit worried now. I know, decorations in the shops already! Actually I love Christmas. All our family comes home to roost and it's wonderful. Plus I'm shallow and am easily lured by sparkly things.

Wuffa she's in Slovenia or Croatia. Apparently the Dalmatian coast is where the Italians holiday. I have a Macedonian friend too who says Bosnia is beautiful. Who'da thunk it . . warzone one minute - tourist destination the next but sadly their internet and mobile networks are certainly dodgy!

Hey Megs yep I don't think they're there yet. They've booked a sailing cruise so I'm hoping once they get to Dubrovnik I'll hear from them. Seriously this guy is dead handsome, he was going through a messy divorce about 7 years ago when I worked with him and had tightly cropped brown hair. I nearly died when he walked in looking all cool in a grandpa shirt and jeans and this mop of wirey grey hair. Very attractive man . .oh but the baggage! You're on facebook? Ooh I need all the friends I can get I'll try to find you. (erm I'm not the throwing sheep kind . .really just on it to see Clare's pics and fling the odd angel at Absolute Vanilla and Jefferson Davis, and K8 . . )

laughingwolf said...

that's the part of 'civilization' i meant, not the folk/scenery....

Baino said...

She rang in tonight. She's in Split and the internet's good. She'shad a wonderful time staying with Slovenian families (cheaper than hostels) She's happy, healthy, homesick and I burst into tears. Blithery stupid mofo.

Miladysa said...

Wonderful news!