Saturday, September 13, 2008

You know spring has arrived in Australia when:
You just wake up one morning and all the cherry blossoms are out. I swear they talk to each other and it's a synchronised effort

You have to stop your car just about every morning to let ducklings cross the road

You spend $200 on pool chemicals and order a $628 cleaner pump because the fact that it's been broken all winter now makes it's replacement urgent!

Otley has shaken the winter blues and starts calling Adam 'honey bun' ! I'm sure it's platonic

Your washing dries within 40 minutes of being hung on the line despite your shitty spin cycle that leaves everything dripping wet

You can actually hear the awesome hum of millions of bees in the treetops

You have a small huntsman spider in your dunny and wonder whether to leave him there until he grows or dispatch him now (I left him)

The sun shines brigher through your windows despite the existance of a verandah and you can see all the dirty marks on your white kitchen cupboards

You don't need anyone to turn the lights on at 6pm in the alleyway approaching the door and don't trip over clodhoppers in the dark

The coat section in David Jones is now full of bikinis and swimwear, just when you think it might be a good time to buy a red trenchcoat on sale

Your son has a visible landscaper's tan - white bodysuit, brown face and neck, brown forearms and brown knees and calves with little white feet . .well big white feet

You start wearing your "I'm not immature you great big poopy head" T shirt and wear rubber thongs but your feet are winter tender and you get a red mark between your toes

It's 7pm and all the doors and windows are still open

Strawberries drop to two punnets for $4

Magpies bomb you when you walk up to the shed, pluvvers bomb you when you feed your horses . . .

You're dog moves from your bed to the cool of the laundry floor

You sweat walking out to the washing line

The first skink skittles across the slate floor (he's only about 10cm but by summer will be 25cm long and scare the living daylights out of me as he hides under the couch)

The birds wake you up before the alarm

All you can smell in the evening is the neighbour's star jasmine which cascades over the side fence

The weeds grow while you're watching

You check the gas bottle because BBQ weather is just about upon us

You scratch your first mosquito bite, main reason for tolerating the huntsman in the dunny

You start buying Aerogard during your monthly 'big' shop

You up your deodorant to the 24 hour sports strength stuff

You realise that now that socks are a thing of the past, it's time for a pedicure

Christmas decorations hit the shops (don't worry there'll be hot cross buns on New Year's Day!)

Your brother decides it's time for an internal spring clean and announces to all and sundry that because our dad died from the effects of bowel cancer we should all get a 'hosepipe stuck up the Gary'

Heartfelt to dear Cecily in Houston who is currently hunkered down drinking champagne, drawing, eating chocolate and watching Ike wreak havoc. Last live weather update rain and high winds, lowland flooding and only a medium chance of tornadoes . . .hang on to those red slippers Dorothy!


Grannymar said...

Go on make me jealous!

It is actually dry in my corner today. That is reason enough to celebrate!

Bimbimbie said...

Hallelujah*!* I was nodding my head in agreement to most of these ... glad you left the huntsman - he will hopefully stop any mossie taking a bite while your er other wise engaged;)

And yes thinking of Ces ... and those chocolates, that's some emergency kit she put together lol

ian said...

Dark at 6 o'clock? You should try life 53 degrees from the Equator.
(By the way, if there is running water to supply a a swimming pool, how come you are still using an earth closet? And aren't rubber thongs very uncomfortable?)

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Baino said...

Sorry Grannymar I didn't mean to gloat but we've had a wet winter and today, my washing dried in record time. Halved the chores. I don't have/need a dryer so it's lovely to see you're laundry waving in the breeze even if you do wear Bridget's knickers. If it's any consolation, it's always an Indian summer . .November is when the Jacaranda's bloom and mark the real warmth.

Tsup Bimbimbie . .He's disappeared that's the bit I don't like. Clare had one on the toilet roll once and I've never heard a scream like it! I think the family Court are OK I've been watching a live stream. It's rough and tumble but they're prepared. It will be interesting to see what your cyclone season's like this year. They say Global Warming is making them more powerful.

Ello Rev . .you've been conspicuous by your absence . .Ah no daylight savings yet . .haha . .that's you at 53 degrees, well London . .I love that you make me research stuff. Um we don't have an earth closet . .it's an envirocycle, similar to a septic only we re-cycle waste water on our grass and thongs are very comfortable - between your toes - eventually! Mandatory attire in the summer!

I'm leaving Supershadow because he proves a purile point! Supershadow, join up for the Jedi course at Belfast's Queens University! I guess I'm lucky that the only twat I get visiting thinks he's a Jedi . .Oh help me Obewan Kanobe, you are my only hope! Folks, please don't bother following the link!

Bear Naked said...

I had to laugh at your description of a landscaper's tan, here in Canada we call it a farmer's tan.

Bear((( )))

Nick said...

Ah yes, how embarrassing when the full force of the sun shows how filthy the windows are and reveals every tiny smear and stain and scratch on everything in sight. Still, I just ignore the filth and lounge in the garden with some ice cream and reading matter. Sure, the filth will disappear again once the summer's gone.

ThePopGirls said...

Our Big W had novelty Santas on sale in April...they sprayed out traditional Aussie Snow (out of Santas mouth), silly string style...

I didn't buy one.

Jay said...

There you go - I have a snapshot of Australia in the spring! That'll save me the airfare to come over and see for myself! LOL!

And just as we're sliding into autumn .. actually, it's a nice day today, but we've had a lot of wet and wind. And the nights are getting chillier - I'm just thinking of putting my thicker quilt on.

'Landscaper's tan'! ROFL!

Ryan said...

You know spring has arrived when the bbq gets fired up, the boys in boardshorts come round and the poker table gets a work out!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

You're doing better than we are. We've still got snow on the mountains and more cold fronts with more rain blowing in. The only sign of spring is the green buds, the plum blossoms and a lot of randy guinea fowl tearing around the swimming pool!

laughingwolf said...

rub it in... we're cooling off ;) lol

hmmm... another definition for 'getting hosed' :O hahahahaha

Thriftcriminal said...

just upsetting me now, we had the summer of poo and are heading into winter now, while your good weather is revving up. grumble.

Bimbimbie said...

I'm fingers and toes crossed we have a similar summer to the last two which were less humid and a few temps down on previous years. Our regular storms were not as violent but did arrive a couple of hours earlier - they always seem to hit at around 3pm but they were arriving at lunch or 5'ish. Sydney always seems to cop a few big storms too .. lets hope for simple cooling rain. I just looked in on Ces, no update so I'm guessing power outages - it's almost 6am here so I'll go listen to the news.

Miladysa said...

LOL - Bring it on!

What's a skink?

We can tell when it's summer here because it's still raining! :-D

Baino said...

Bear, also a 'golfer's tan'. His nibs requested a shoulder massage the other night and he looked like he was wearing a white wet suit!

Nick I tried the ignoring bit but I have a lot white cupboards and a lot of glass . .big sliding door right opposite my TV couch all slimed with doggy snot! Plus living on acres, everything gets so dusty . . Can't stand it.

Hello pop girls. I must visit. Santa's in Big W sprouting snow! God don't tell my two they're the king and queen of kitch and will definitely want one! Great restraint there girls!

Ryan you know spring has arrived when the following morning the whole place is strewn with beer bottles and poker chips and the XBox is still going! Grrrr . . better be clean by the time I get home!

Ah I might have gloated too early AV, today is blustery and wet and generally back to wintery climes. Fortunately my winter ducks are all loved up and raising families. The pool is ALMOST clean.

Bimbimbie, I'm not a great fan of the heat either. Last summer was quite nice actually. I'm expecting a European visitor in Jan so hope it's not too hot . .don't want to be red faced and dripping whilst doing the tour guide thing. Yep, I think Ces has lost power. 4 million houses without it apparently. Ah storms are for the summer alright. Love sitting on the verandah watching them roll in and out!

Miladysa, I've sent you an email with some photos. They're a smallish lizard that skittle about the house in summer. The insect cleanup guys!

And in further news . . one of the big girls' blouses (read poker boys) got squeamish and squished my huntsman! Probably didn't like those 8 beady eyes watching him pee!

Quickroute said...

Southern hemi - Rocks!!!

Miles McClagan said...

I'm massively impressed with any blog post that refers to strawberries and punnets...not enough people appreciate the punnet.

It's just not fair the lack of punnet apprecation.

Baino said...

Quickie, you'd know, you've probaly seen more of it than me!

Ah Miles. There's little better than a really good punnet, no punnet intended. Actually the only word better than punnet is fecund but I can never work out how to put it into a sentence!

Murdered Huntsman said...

It was Murder! That anatomically challenged one did it! I saw it with my own eight eyes ... that's why he murdered me! Take care of my 259 babies, don't let him near them Baino*!*

Baino said...

Oh my! . . Never been haunted by a Huntsman before! Don't you worry furry one, there will be more . .oh yes . .there will be many more! Warn them now . .beware the brown Haviana!
Erm so where's you're pretty egg sack then? Spill, it's just you and me, our dirty little secret, just asking? Can't protect what I can't see *searches every nook and cranny*

Lehners in France said...

Baino, jealous moi? Yes I bloody am. We are just about to buy the winter chemicals and close the pool up. At least though we will be back in England before the temperature plummets to minus sixteen here. GRIN ;-) Bon Dimanche. Debs x

Ropi said...

We don't have pool, unfair.

murdered huntsman said...

... fear not Baino my babies are safe and sound in their sack. Should you get up in the middle of the night don't put the lights on, you'll know where they are from their chatter*!*

Baino said...

Ah Debs, well at least you've had fairweather in France. Hope you're as lucky in England!

Ropi! Tuck that bottom lip in! Actually many people in the cities have pools even if they're small above ground ones. I always thought it a bit funny that houses by the sea have a pool too!

Gah! You arachnid spectre . . .can't find them YET

Ces said...

Hello there dear Baino. We were battered but survived gracefully and only almost lost our minds.. Thanks for staying up to watch the news. I could have called you and then you could have comforted me and made me feel brave, wait a minute! We had no power and no land lines and cell phone was dying. Spring is better than hurricane. Take care.

Baino said...

Ah Ces, you pulled through. Fantastic. I heard 4 million lost power on Friday night. Glad to see you all in one piece! Plenty of blog fodder there now I guess.

Melissa said...

Twas just the other day when I was making you envious with my post about spring and summer months ... now I'm sighing enviously and wishing it were spring and summer (and I'm a WINTER girl!). :) I think mostly I'm missing my kids and your flip-flops and birds waking you up early remind me of our wonderful summer.

I also giggled a lot and loved each one of these and you made me smile! :) Have a great start to your week!

Baino said...

Thanks Melissa . . although in true form September/October are notoriously windy months and whilst it's sunny, it's pretty breezy. I'm a winter girl myself but after the coldest winter since 1969, we're ready for some warmth! Don't worry, it'll be the Thanksgiving and Christmas Break before you know it!