Tuesday, September 02, 2008

I Haz a Treadmill

I am fat. I need to exercise. Builders have blocked my walking track with a big fence. I have foiled their nastiness by hiring a treadmill. It is black and silver and shiny (I like shiny things) and it is brand new. It is very big too. It has a snazzy control panel and lots of settings. Which make me feel like a Starship Trooper. I need lessons on how to operate the console. It is on the verandah so I can pretend I am walking in the garden. It goes very slow and very fast. It can incline so I can pretend I am walking up a big hill. It has a safety 'plug' that I can pull out if I start to fall off by putting a little clip on my t-shirt. I need to buy a helmet, knee and elbow pads because I am a spazz and fall off it. Soon I will be really good at it like these guys:

Or not!


Thriftcriminal said...

Whoa, Romulan battleship controller design!

Grannymar said...

I just listen to my 'spring cleaning' music. James Last non stop dancing works for me every time! I turn up the sound, open all the windows and internal doors and away I go!

kj said...

go girl! do you know the soundtrack to 'priscilla queen of the desert' or 'corrina corrina'. both may push you along in that veranda.

good luck baino. i'm shedding on my end as well (ha!)


Jay said...

Yay for you!!

Blow the verandah, I have a TV in front of mine! Hey, fellow Starship trooper, maybe I should break out the old Star Trek tapes? LOL!

Yours looks much like mine, right down to the two cup holders, which puzzle me somewhat. Are you supposed to exercise with a friend??

Ces said...

Oh that looks very nice. The treadmill dancers look cool. You can do the moon walk Baino. I tried the treadmill during my cardiac stress test years ago, since I like wearing loose clothing, I wore a size 12 pants instead of the regular 10. No kidding, this is true do not laugh - my pants fell off during the exercise so the other technician had to spread his legs across the board as he stood behind me and held my pants. It was like a Three Stooges movie. When the cardiologist came in he wondered what was happening but tried his best to refrain from laughing. If I do it again today, I may not even be able to put the pants on. I really need that treadmill now.

Megan said...

Fancy! Tread on, Baino!

moon said...

You know, I hate treadmills .... never use them, but I do use the cross trainers... with the right music... you will be Cindy Crawford very soon .... mmmmm, Cindy ... she is on my list...

Nick said...

Jeez, that control panel's pretty hot stuff. Press the wrong button and you'll probably take off for Singapore and your in-flight meal will pop out the bottom.

laughingwolf said...

lol... good onya ;)

[beam me up, scotty, NO intelligent life here ;)]

my option for inclement weather: walking the stairs/hallways of my 3-level apartment building :O lol

Jefferson Davis said...

Go Girl! I wish I had one. I love to walk but don't like having to watch for prostitutes and crack dealers. They'll knock your head off for fifty pence! :)

Kath Lockett said...

Make sure you have a rockin' soundtrack (especially a loaded iPod and frequent use of the 'shuffle' option) and tell yourself that it's NOT boring, but it's your thinking time. Go for it, girl!

Baino said...

Haha . knew you'd be impressed Thrifty. I don't know what half the knobs are for yet!


kj ah I'm more you're alternative music type and I have plenty of AKTOR to rock hard to! Trust me, I have way more to shed but it's a start.

Well Jay, you half convinced me to buy one actually but I went for the hire instead. I can buy it out at the end of the 12 months if I want to. Can't fit it in the house frankly! Um drinky holders (one for the bottle and one for the glass of Chardy?)

Haha Ces, you're a cack! Same thing happens to me when I wear yoga pants and walk out to the washing line! I have some snug fitting leggings for this one so should avoid any embarrassment.

Ohh yeah Megs . . I need to get fit, summer's a comin'

Hey Moon . .well I'd prefer to be walking around the neighbourhood but have been stymied by cyclone fences. Besides, if it's staring at me every time I look out of the window, there's no excuse but to hop on! As for Cindy Crawford? I wish but I doubt.

Haha who knows Nick, I can check my heart rate, amount of calories I'm burning, speed, inclination bla bla . .I just want to walk for 2 hours a day!

Awww Wuffa, there's loads of intelligent life here! My knees are a bit dodgy for stair walking so I'll stick to the flat! You live in an Apartment! I'm shocked, thought you were the woodsy, outdoorsy type.

Yeh I know JD I prefer the trails but this is a 'no excuses, stare me in the face right opposite my couch' guilt trip. Jesus boy, crack heads and prostitutes in Greenville! Just don't walk through the red light district you naughty boy!

Thanks Kath, I just hope I get to like it as much as you do! Can't stand 'exercise' . . .walking the dog doesn't seem like exercise but as soon as 'equipment' is involved it becomes a bit of a chore! Ipod is charged and ready!

GayƩ Terzioglu said...

OMG this is weird. I joined a gym and went only once during the last 3 weeks (busy, no time, bla bla bla)
I was on my community work shift with a lil client of mine and her mum was selling her treadmill because it was too noisy for her lil daughter. So I bought it. Freaky, eh! It's not nearly as spiffy as yours though. Basic stuff, plus the shirt clip so I don't end up splat on my face.
So the-get-fit-on-treadmill-race is on. OK GO!
(the only depressing thing about the treadmill is you walk and walk and run and run and end up going nowhere)

steph said...

Cool video!

What does Lily do for exercise now?


Baino said...

Hello to the other Mrs "B" you've been quiet on the ether lately. And don't you worry about Lily, she spends all day sleeping then has three acres to bark at from 6pm - 10:30pm chasing rabbits and possums and still gets her Saturday mornings with Babysis'two terrors on Saturdays and the photo walk on Sunday . . Worse comes to worse, she can share the treadmill. (but not the iPod cos she has stinky ears) Great clip! (Tortoishel cats are female . . notice she's the only one that knows how to stay on!) I reckon she'd be up for this as long as she has a stick in her mouth! This is soooo Lily's style! Even looks like her!

laughingwolf said...

i am, baino... but circumstance demands otherwise - had to parent my kids once the ex took a massive stroke, she's still paralyzed on right side, unable to speak...

got a call on the west coast from older daughter: i want my daddy [11 years ago], so here i am, for a while yet... son lives with me, still

Bimbimbie said...

Wow*!* Did it come with a horn, it's dead posh .... I love that video ... one of the cleverist around.

lol just read what Ces wrote*!*

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Whoohoo! But really, you should just come to the gym with me and we could do a whole lot of ogling, as well as walking - both good for the heart rate! ;-)

jackmcmad said...

Like myself, I love new shiny electrical objects.
A few years ago I pestered Lady Mc into buying me a rowing machine for my birthday in an attempt to start some low impact cardiovascular exercise to improve my asthma. I'd say that if I rowed the equivalent of one length of a swimming pool that'd be it. Ah well, at least the intention was there.

Baino said...

Aww Wuffa that's a shame. But nice that you're with your kids I believe the west coast is beautiful anyway! You have Vancouver, and those amazing mountains for day trips and long weekends!

Bimbimbie, Ces has been a long time lurker apparently but I'm glad she's come out of the closet! (metaphorically speaking) Funny girl she is and not backwards in coming forwards if you know what I mean! Don't tell anyone but apparently she's a crap housewife! No wonder . .she hasn't time for cleaning!

AV if I stood next to you we'd look like Laurel and Hardy . . long time before I go perving in a gym! I'll come with you to Kruger one day tho!

Hey Jack. Nice to see you again. I have actually done the same thing in the past. My hubby bought me a lovely exercise bike that decorated the spare room for years until Adam pinched the wheel for a billy cart! And until recently, I had my brother's home gym in the pool room but he's absconded with it and set up in his own house so I was forced to hire (never used his equipment once). Different this time tho. Christmas is coming and I really need to get some fitness back. Clare has asthma but finds walking or running really helpful. Always a puffer in the pocket tho! Road to disaster and all that!

Excellent Adventures said...

That is a very shiny machine!! So by the time I come home you'll be a treadmill acrobat with an amazing reading repitoire (i don't know how to spell that word?)! So proactive!!!