Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Random Thoughts on Electricity and The Big Bang

Sure I did physics at school (should have done biology) . . .

Random Whine One:
We had a four-hour blackout at work today. Some Integral Energy twit tripped over an important plug and central Castle Hill lost power. The police got to practice their hand signals (badly) and the entire shopping centre was plunged into darkness (it's like a casino to lure shoppers into not knowing what time of day it is). Power resumed about 11am but not for us . . . we had lights and nothing else and in true form, the Sparky can't make it until tomorrow morning! Yay! Early marks all round. But not before being advised by the building manager to break into the Electrical Cupboard with a long screwdriver because he didn't have a key (thank you Argentinian, your violence with a sharp implement is appreciated). Then me crawling under every computer station in the office (22 at last count) unplugging power chords one by one and trying to 'reset' the circuit breaker (I am too old for this lark) which refused to right itself! So, I have to be at work early tomorrow to greet the Sparky's and hope that one of them is eye candy!
Random Whine 2
Well it's gone 5pm and the CERN Hadron Particle Accelerator is chucking proton nuclei all over the place in an attempt to recreate the big bang. Despite the fact that we all know God created the universe, the Garden of Eden and all that ribbage and snakey stuff and I'm still here.
The principle of the big underground tubey machiney thing in Switzerland (Like that Thrifty?) is to have protons colliding at such a speed, they break, like terabillions (made that up) of fob watches hitting a concrete driveway and we can examine the squiggly springy bits inside. If we do, (notice, I'm lumping myself in with the great minds of the Century) we'll understand the contents of proton nuclei, mass and the possibilities of time travel as well as what went on when the universe went pop!
They're also looking for the elusive Higgs particle which will explain mass. If they can't find it . . well back to the drawing board and all we learned in physics at school about mass is just mess. Einstein will be turning in his grave if mass doesn't exist. Wow, there goes E=MC2! Bummer!

Whilst working on the LHC (Large Hadron Collider - See! I did research!), scientists have created "The Grid" (A network of 60000 computers to analyze what happens when protons are hurled at each other at massive velocity) which will enable sooper dooper (another technical term) ultra-fast internet technologies to be developed.

As for black holes . .well they'll be tiny . . . Stephen Hawking just rang and told me in his Microsoft Sam voice that there's nothing to worry about. I'm still here . . then I'm in Australia so it might take a while to squeeze this fat lady through a small black hole! Anybody out there? Notso? You still alive?
Random Whine 3
I am an Internet whore. Having had no power today has made me realise how empty my day is without lunchtime browsing and the dissemination of funny emails! Well nothing new there but I have made some new email buddies through the blog which I love by the way so feel free to make a connection and I have a new chat friend who has broadband for another week (normally she's restricted to dial up) and is making the most of it and another that's gone back to Uni and I miss him much because he's not online every day and a wayward backpacker daughter who's somewhere in Slovakia or Slovenia or Bosnia or Croatia with lousy WIFI and offline for a couple of weeks. I feel like my lifeline has been re-established and cut at the same time

R
andom Whine 4
Ah and speaking of POWER and electricity et al. I have two brothers. Both are electricians. One is well, disenfranchised but did wire my house 20 years ago and is therefore responsible for a few things. The other - lives next door.

I have two fluorescent carport lights balanced precariously on the beams because my nephew clipped them with a ladder on top of the Rodeo 18 months ago as he drove through. They don't work so tripping over the dog and landscaper's boots is a nightly occurrence.

Our pool cleaner pump is awaiting repair. So far just some timber has been removed to access the pump in the filter box but Saturday sport has prevented a real fix, so I have to hoick liquid amber tea leaves from the bottom of the pool on a daily basis in an attempt to get it back to 'summer' condition.
One of the lights surrounding the pool fence has been 'knocked over' due to Babybro's lack of tractor driving skill (he's mown once in 4 years) and everytime I boil the kettle with two heater's on, I trip the circuit breaker and then every thing fades to black!
So don't talk to me about black holes! I live in one!


21 comments:

Ryan said...

I wouldn't be counting the black holes quite yet, they have only fired protons round the ring, they aren't smashing anything yet.

K8 the Gr8 said...

I love that song - hadn't seen the video till now though... those non-faces are freaking me out, man.

No lekky sucks! I remember the 7 hour blackout of '03, I was that desperate for a cuppa, I tried to boil a teapot with 4 tea-light candles :)

It doesn't work if you're wondering!
(So why do they call them tea lights then?!?!?!?)

Thriftcriminal said...

I was expecting Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden, good tune though.

So, errr, proof reading...... (inconsistant numbering, two instances of number 3) sorry, I'm in that mode, reviewing documents :-) (don't hit me, I'm only a little bit cheeky).

English Mum said...

Whine One: Very frustrating. We get tons of power cuts up here in the nether regions of Ireland.

Whine Two: Eh?

Whine Three: Seems to me that you need to get a man in to sort out your odd jobs (ooer!!!!)

x

ian said...

Theoretical physics is great fun. If the LHC doesn't find the dark matter they will have to keep looking, because there is not enough mass in the sun to explain how its gravity would hold the solar system together at the speeds at which the planets move.

Superlocation is even more fun than dark matter!

Ces said...

I love blackouts. Gives me an excuse to light candles and since I love candles, my house becomes the side altar of St. Patrick's Cathedral with all the candles. It also gives me an excuse not to be oncall.

You can't say "Black Hole" here in these parts of the US. Some African-American politicians think it is racist. (I love this latest racial stupidity).

What do you do at work? Why do you have to be the master electrician crawling under desks?

laughingwolf said...

i'm a journeyman electrician, too... but kinda difficult to help you, baino....

got any cheese wit alla dat whine? :O lol

Baino said...

Ryan . .you are a nerd! But I love you anyway. All of a sudden I wanted to pogo around teh room to "Smash it Up"

Ho . .fellow broadband whore! You never saw the vid? You Irish need a dose of Saturday night 'Rage' and something greasy. As for tea lights - Mispronnounciation praps ...pea lights, free lights, me lights, free bytes, sox tight, good night
????

KK Cwanky Thwiftypants, I fixed it already . .Look out you'll get sucked into that black hole before me cos it's already Thursday here!

EM I need a man! Nuff said

Ian, you make my universe expand!

Ces my darling, I am the 'go to' girl. Loosely entitled 'Practice Manager' which means I do everything that nobody else wants to do from Stratigic Planning to changing the water bottle . and hanging around waiting for tradesmen to make us operational . . .and I love my smelly candles too. . ."Awakening" from Dusk . .lubly!

Baino said...

Oops, snuck in there Wuffables; Now! .get your hairy ass over here and fix shit . . erm . .(rephrase)
Would you mind awfully enabling our electrics so we can function (ok I'll cook you dinner if you get us up and running!)

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

"So, I have to be at work early tomorrow to greet the Sparky's and hope that one of them is eye candy!"
You're beginning to worry me. Can I pay you to go back to the Brazilian?

And don't talk to me about black holes - our magnificent electricity supplier miscalculated economic growth a few years back so now the whole country is turning into a black hole... Move over Hadron, you've got nothing on Eskom.

Bear Naked said...

Heard about the CERN Hadron Particle Accelerator on todays news.
My first thought was, "What will they say if they cause an earthquake or tidal wave or two? OOPS, sorry."

Bear((( )))

Grannymar said...

The only black holes round here are in my socks! I whine at the wall - they don't answer back.

Ahem! 'Ian, you make my universe expand!' Yes? You were saying.... ?

Quickroute said...

Our new place is only covered by DSL and the company is shite. It's called 'Speedy' which is a joke in itself as it's anything but. They finally gave us service last night so no more hanging off the balcony for me hopefully!

Anonymous said...

Horray for entirely random placement of 'h' into words, the upcoming Fresher's Week, and anywhere with 'Student Happy Hour' on a sign ...

Baino said...

AV I feel for you!

Bear it's underground . .22 kms of secrecy apparently. Still here this morning so I guess all is well.

Haha poor Grannymar . . .your really should buy some new ones to go with your saucy boots!

Quicky, glad you're no longer an OHS risk and you're not alone with slow broadband. Mine at home is awful! Then that could be my ageing Dell.

Buongiorno di tesoro Notso. Completely off topic as usual but happy you're having a good time. You must tell me all on Friday night! Random 'h'?

laughingwolf said...

dear baino: send return air ticket and i'll be there asap...

for dindin, i prefer seafood, but can be tempted... with other stuff :O lol

Bimbimbie said...

Oh you poor thing, you have a plumber and two electricians in the family no wonder you think you live in a black hole ;) loved the video, hope all goes well with return of power at work and getting your fix of lunchtime computer travel*!*

Miladysa said...

You always make me smile :-D

I think those scientists haven't got a blinking clue what they are doing and what they are going to discover. Big Bang - what a load of rot! :-D

Fingers crossed the sparky is a fit bit!

Baino said...

Wuffa I would if I could! mmm Seafood.

Bimbimbie . .always the way. I have a landscaper who doesn't do anything in the garden as well!

Miladysa - tis my mission to amuse and confuse. And as an aside, the electrician was short, fat, snotty and bad tempered but we're all up and running again.

Sad addenda to the blackout. A learner driver, her 14 year old sister and 16 year old friend crashed into a power pole killing the friend and the driver. They had stolen their Grandma's car! The whole grid had to be reset as the pole she hit carried 3000 volts.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

You know, on the Hadron Collider - the symptoms might be slight but the impact significant. We may not end up with a gaping black hole straight off but there might be a change in energy, a subtle shift of something that ultimately causes total devastation - or, as Bear Naked says results in an earthquake or tsunami, or Switzerland vanishing down a lake...
It's like that ruddy big damn the Chinese are building that will tilt the earth's axis because of it's sheer weight. How many have stopped to think what the impact of that might be in the long term.
That's the trouble with us humans, we tend to be pretty myopic. Hassle with today but what? the future? not our problem. Hmmm.
Right, getting off soapbox now!

laughingwolf said...

understood...