You know spring has arrived in Australia when:
You just wake up one morning and all the cherry blossoms are out. I swear they talk to each other and it's a synchronised effort
You have to stop your car just about every morning to let ducklings cross the road
You spend $200 on pool chemicals and order a $628 cleaner pump because the fact that it's been broken all winter now makes it's replacement urgent!
Otley has shaken the winter blues and starts calling Adam 'honey bun' ! I'm sure it's platonic
Your washing dries within 40 minutes of being hung on the line despite your shitty spin cycle that leaves everything dripping wet
You can actually hear the awesome hum of millions of bees in the treetops
You have a small huntsman spider in your dunny and wonder whether to leave him there until he grows or dispatch him now (I left him)
The sun shines brigher through your windows despite the existance of a verandah and you can see all the dirty marks on your white kitchen cupboards
You don't need anyone to turn the lights on at 6pm in the alleyway approaching the door and don't trip over clodhoppers in the dark
The coat section in David Jones is now full of bikinis and swimwear, just when you think it might be a good time to buy a red trenchcoat on sale
Your son has a visible landscaper's tan - white bodysuit, brown face and neck, brown forearms and brown knees and calves with little white feet . .well big white feet
You start wearing your "I'm not immature you great big poopy head" T shirt and wear rubber thongs but your feet are winter tender and you get a red mark between your toes
It's 7pm and all the doors and windows are still open
Strawberries drop to two punnets for $4
Magpies bomb you when you walk up to the shed, pluvvers bomb you when you feed your horses . . .
You're dog moves from your bed to the cool of the laundry floor
You sweat walking out to the washing line
The first skink skittles across the slate floor (he's only about 10cm but by summer will be 25cm long and scare the living daylights out of me as he hides under the couch)
The birds wake you up before the alarm
All you can smell in the evening is the neighbour's star jasmine which cascades over the side fence
The weeds grow while you're watching
You check the gas bottle because BBQ weather is just about upon us
You scratch your first mosquito bite, main reason for tolerating the huntsman in the dunny
You start buying Aerogard during your monthly 'big' shop
You up your deodorant to the 24 hour sports strength stuff
You realise that now that socks are a thing of the past, it's time for a pedicure
Christmas decorations hit the shops (don't worry there'll be hot cross buns on New Year's Day!)
Your brother decides it's time for an internal spring clean and announces to all and sundry that because our dad died from the effects of bowel cancer we should all get a 'hosepipe stuck up the Gary'
Heartfelt to dear Cecily in Houston who is currently hunkered down drinking champagne, drawing, eating chocolate and watching Ike wreak havoc. Last live weather update rain and high winds, lowland flooding and only a medium chance of tornadoes . . .hang on to those red slippers Dorothy!