Thursday, May 17, 2007
Push the Button
I am a control freak. Not in a do as I say kind of way but I like to know what's going on, run the numbers, have my ducks in a row and this week I am totally out of control. My brain is fuzzy, I can't make decisions, I'm betwixt and between, distracted, nervous. I can't put my finger on it. ClareBear has announced her travel plans so I have separation anxiety. DrummerBoy is arranging the Big Gig with loads of people I don't know, tents in the back yard, live music bla bla. Work is discombobulated as I vasilate between Exec Ass Gofer Extraordinaire and creative producer of marketing materials. My washing hasn't been done. There's no food in the fridge. The bed's unmade. So not me . . . And instead of breaking crockery, I've burned my finger on the Breville. Hormones? Maybe. Lots going on? Maybe. Going completely mad . . possible. It's an unnerving feeling and I always fear the onset of something geriatric like Alzheimers or dimentia. I remember the important things but forget about soccer practice on Tuesday. I'm beginning to care about people I don't know and ignore people I do. I wake up at 3.00am and can't get back to sleep. It's interesting but befuddling. Everything seems to push my buttons, good and bad. I hope it's just a phase.