Tuesday, June 19, 2007

What I really really want . . .

I’m not sure where we get this idea of ‘the one’. I was in love once but I’m still not sure he was ‘the one’. And actually he was the third ‘the one’ that I thought was ‘the one’ and just happened to be 'the one' I married - so obviously he wasn’t ‘the one’.

I’ve been quite content to be single as the kiddywinks were growing up and as I've said before, being a widow, there seemed no urgency to get back in the saddle so to speak. There were enough distractions to keep me busy and I’m also partial to my own company as long as I can stay in touch with friends and talk to myself ad infinitum. However, if I was in the position where someone found me interesting enough to begin a relationship, what characteristics would I embrace, how would I know whether he’s ‘the one’ or frankly at my age, I’ll settle for the one sitting next to the one sitting next to the one . . .

My standards are very high but not difficult. I think I frighten men off:

Must be taller than me
Well groomed - clean shaven or well trimmed, sweet smelling
A kindness in the face – hard to describe that one, it’s a combination of smile and eyes a sort of knowingness
Can perform as appropriate – likes spooning
Own teeth an advantage

Can remember to put the toilet seat down after use
Some mechanical or fix it nouse. If I’m going to do his washing and ironing, he’s got to be able to get my tractor going and fix my down lights.
Rembers bin night and puts them out on time
Good conversationalist
A foodie
A filmgoer
Comfortable camping in a park or in a canoodling in a penthouse
Impeccable manners
Able to ‘take care’ of me
Good in bed . . not a thrashing machine . . .just ‘in tune’
Must drive

Isn’t jealous but is a little posessive
Passion for life and a clear understanding of his goals
Calmness under pressure
Generous to his friends and family
An ability to lead
An ability to make confident decisions
Absolutely honest but able to be so with humour or sensitivity
Someone who can take charge without taking over
Capable of real emotional commitment
Great sense of humour
Empathic and understanding of the situation of others
Will oblige me with things he doesn’t like to do but does it anyway to keep me happy, much as I would oblige him things he likes to do just because it keeps him happy
Someone with whom I can completely drop my guard

And in return, I can promise a clean dwelling with three meals a day, complete housekeeping service, fast internet, a clean bed and a bit on the side.

Right . . . so that’s why I’m single . . . .


Brian Damage said...

The thing that pisses me off with women is that most of them don't understand my sense of humour - it's based around imagining situations and taking jokes out of that.
It's hard to explain, but if you met me you would either find me hilarious or just a weirdo.

Sadly, most women I have encountered in life fall into the latter side.

Baino said...

Lucky for you I'm rather partial to hilarious weirdos. They're a good counter to my banal and boring.

Brian Damage said...

Hey, I didn't say I was a mix of the two!!

I wouldn't describe you as boring, but your wit isn't up-in-your-face like mine is, and that's a good balance to someone like me.

Perhaps there's a 40 year old Dario Sanchez somewhere out there?

Baino said...

First point is arguable.
If you find him, point him in my direction!

Anonymous said...

when you say 'a bit on the side' do u mean like biscuits and tea and coffee and that?


Baino said...

DB: Yeah right! Bottle of Bolly and some nibbly bits . .

Anonymous said...

Just how fast is this 'fast internet' of which you speak?

Baino said...

You're taken!

Anonymous said...

Am I too late?

I scored 2 out of 31 which isn't bad...

Baino said...

GD: You have your own teeth? Awesome.