Thursday, June 05, 2008

Baino Has a Cry

I hate bloody computers, can't live with them, can't blow them up! The Dell is in its death throes and keyboard lights are flashing and the mouse is frozen. Unlike the little varmints that have moved in subsequent to our mass poisoning of roof rats a few weeks ago and we suspect that there's been some cable chewing due to Adam's inability to play online games in his bedroom (which is a good thing because he won't surface if he's embroiled in a Tom Clancy face off).

No amount of plug twiddling, rebooting or swearing is going to make the old girl function so she's been turned off for the night. If a good kip doesn't sort her out in the morning, I'm off to buy a new hard drive.

So I'm relegated to the iMac which is old, slow and the keyboard sticks and when I'm talking to people I sound like I'm broadcasting from an empty baked bean can. We forget how we take technology such as PC's so lightly. I really need a new flash megaterrabytical one so that I can have Youtube, Wiki and all my other applications open at once instead of bunny hopping between the two hoping that one will work better than the other. My PC at work is spiffy. I mean State of the Art and we have ADSL2 which is speedy and responsive. This is little consolation given that I've decided to take tomorrow off to do some much needed maintenance and get my passport application sorted . . I need a functioning PC!

At home, it's log in, get a cuppa tea or do a wee and if you're lucky, the Windows will have loaded and be ready to use by the time I've finished but only after telling me that your telcab library (whatever that is) won't work and I haven't optimised for the past 170 days when in fact I did it just yesterday . . .I swear!

Then there's Skype which has this wonderful way of just having a nano sleep every 20 minutes so that whoever you're talking to online has to twiddle their thumbs while I wait for it to reactivate. Time for more tea and wee. Thank goodness Grannymar and my other Skypeypals know I'm not being rude when I refuse to answer for 10 minutes while Skype appears to buzz off for a cuppa as well!

All I want, is a fast internet and a keyboard that doesn't stick. Although it gives me an excuse for poor spelling and typos! For an addict like me, it's enough to drive me to television! Aaaaaggggghhhhrrr . . .now I can't even add a bloody pic!

Ooh! Ooh! Speaking of which there's something on about how to buy knickers that make you look five kilos smaller . . .CYA!


Thriftcriminal said...

I have a newer iMac at home, it rocks as it rarely keels over. It also allows me to feel unix-y from time to time, and if an app does freeze I get to type the awsome commande "kill -9" into the terminal and watch the issues all dissappear.

Nick said...

Glad to see the rhino properly dressed. Most of them go around casual as you like completely naked. I have to avert my gaze to avoid such shocking nonchalance.

Quickroute said...

I have 2 laptops and both on on their last legs and need to be rebooted regularly which takes an age - I'd like to boot them with a size ten!

Grannymar said...

How did the rhino get my panties?

I feel your pain and am prepared towait for your return. Chin up girl!

steph said...

If it wasn't for that rhino wearing Grannymar's knickers, I'd be crying too!

Hope you get it sorted soon, Baino

Sounds expensive!

Baino said...

To be honest neither computer owes me anything,one's six year's old and the Mac is 5 so definitely due for a replacement I just think they're precocious how dare they tell me I have a system error . . .clearly my digestive and urinery systems work like a treat.

Nick clearly she didn't watch Trinny and Suzannahs episode on choosing the right pair of knickers!

Quicky I've resisted laptops because I like a conventional keyboard and mouse but the wireless factor appeals. Although time away from the PC is virtually rehab for me!

Grannymar, the Dell is behaving after a good night's rest but the warning signs are there. Not much life in the old girl. I'm not so concerned about the rhino wearing your knickers as how she got them on in the first place!

Steph maybe so but a necessary evil.Dells are pretty cheap and at home, I really only need internet and office and a decent movie editing suite. Oh and a chair that doesn't slowly slide down reducing me to a crouching position in front of the screen *ooh me neck*

Anonymous said...

"time away from the PC is virtually rehab for me"! HAHHAA!!! Good luck today and just buy the hardrive anyway! Computing is important enough for you WITHOUT it being a 'pain in the bum' like what the rhino is experiencing ;)

English Mum said...

Ohhhhh, me too. I'm struggling with an ancient Dell and CRAP wireless Broadband which works when it fancies it. Bloody technological things. Hope you get it sorted. x

Nick said...

Oh, you mean magic knickers? They'd have to be pretty powerful to slim down the average rhino.

Anonymous said...

Have a GREAT long weekend Baino!

Baino said...

Anony: I should I know but being the shallow shit that I am I've just spent $300 on perfumes so the hard drive will have to wait for payday. You too! It was supposed to rain all weekend and look at it! Sunshine!

English Mum: We're sorted for now. Its just so frustrating. One good thing, Skype has not had a nanosleep for 2 days. . .nice long uninterrupted conversations so it's been fun.

Nick: now stop obsessing about my knickers.

Kath Lockett said...

Just think of it as your 'enforced rehab - yes yes yesss' until payday arrives and a delicious new DELL can be purchased.

Can completely understand the withdrawal symptoms though. Am currently typing this at 11;30am on Saturday, still in PJs, supposed to be putting a load or seven of washing on....