Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Boardroom Bananas

There's nothing more likely to bring out the inner feminist than two days in a boardroom with five men, three of whom are partners, two who never say please or thank you to the receptionist who belts across the road to bring you your triple strong, extra hot, skinny latte or arrange for your luncheon sandwiches. Or who scatter their mint papers all over the table, leave their cups and plates and treat the only woman in the room as if she's been grabbed from the typing pool! Yep, yippee kay ey! I've been in a meeting for two days solid. Locked in a room with a bunch of blokes who talk too long over the unimportant things and play lip service to the essential. Now I have another hat to wear . . . Business Succession Coordinator! I'd better get a pay rise this July! I blame their mother's who obviously never taught them to push in a chair upon departure. It's an uncomfortable feeling knowing that each thinks about sex every fifteen minutes apparently! I want to put wasabe in their mint slices and toothpaste in their Oreos, that'll fix the boardroom bananas!

11 comments:

Terence McDanger said...

Every fifteen minutes? Sure I think about sex breasts are great much more often than that. Natalie Imbruglia in a bikini.

Thriftcriminal said...

I was going to say something but Terrence has distracted me with a mental image..............

Oh, yeah, apparently in a study where the "leadership role" switched between individuals in a group it was found that the one in charge at that time did not feel as obliged to use their normal manners, whereas those not in charge tollerated it a lot more than they would normally. It may not be a gender thing, it may be a case of who happens to think they are top monkey. Remember I did say "think".

Anonymous said...

I was going to say at least it's all over for now but you'll have to deal with more in your comments ;)

Baino said...

McDanger: Quick go over to Quickroute's sate that appetite! And respect to our Nat please!

Thrifty: I've been over to Quickroute's and you've already been thumped for dirty thoughts. "ow"

As for the leadership thingy . . I am a force to be recognised! *squeek* Actually only one of them is a total wankstain the other is just 'old' so I forgive him!

Anony: Men! Gotta love 'em otherwise you'd castrate the lot! I prefer birds, at least the males are the ones behaving well and looking pretty!

Nick said...

Yes, why is it men who think they're important so often treat anyone apparently less important as insignificant and infinitely obliging? Unless they've got big breasts of course. Though it was refreshing that in my last workplace (a charity, as you know) visiting men were always scrupulous about being polite and appreciative to the office staff.

Kath Lockett said...

LOL - I love your 'wankstain' remark, Baino, I haven't heard that one before but will now officially adopt it whenever I see Brendan Nelson, David Koch, the unfunny guy on Rove (dark hair) and any time I see 'supermodel/supermum' articles....

Blokes do tend to be far worse behaved at work - it's as though they think the cleaning and serving fairy will appear. These are the same guys who think that a once-a-month warm water rinse of their favourite coffee mug in the staff kitchen will do - I'm sure that they don't serve such cups at home...?

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

They'd probably prefer it if you just put them over your knee and spanked them. Come to think of it, you might prefer it too! *very wicked grin*

Ernest de Cugnac said...

15 minutes? Outrageous! Actually I believe the official statistic is 47 seconds.

My father had few words of wisdom, but did impart the following to me, to help me deal with important people apparently. (You must forgive him for excluding women from the category.)

"Remember son, it doesn't matter who there are, they still put their trousers on one leg at a time".

Thanks dad, I cherish that and hope someday to understand what it means.

Baino said...

Kath I have a young Irishman who is helping me expand my already concise dictionary of 'profundities'
um . . Dave Hughes?

One of my quiet and totally bitchy satisfactions is that one partner has absolute reprobates for children. I sit smugly looking at Clare's travel photos on my glass office wall and think bet when you're driving home in you're brand new lexus you had one of those!

AV: Spanking! Dear girl who do you think I am! You are naughty beyond belief! Nah, they'd probably enjoy it! I'll just spit in their sandwiches next time. Silent satisfaction is very rewarding.

Ernest, (so formal for a man with a chicken called Giselle) may I call you Ernie because that's what we do out here or perhaps Monsieur E Cognac . . translates loosely to Brandy Boy. see how the Aussie brain works? Perversion of names is a national pastime.

Your father was a wise, wise man!

I try to imagine them just as they get out of bed with disheveled hair (um hang on - they don't have much) and a 5.00 shadow and possibly the boardroom banana . . .

Baino said...

Sorry Nickers (there goes that Aussie thing again . .one of my nephews is 'Nickers') Missed you on the fly. Actually I have worked with one boss particularly who was very appreciative, and sensitive and we still socialise so I know there are good ones out there!

*note to self - show more cleavage*

Quickroute said...

"toothpaste on oreos" - is that where the phrase "sweet tooth" comes from? - sorry gotsta dash need to google pics of "Natalie Imbruglia in a bikini."!