Saturday, February 02, 2008
Pashology 101
I had a girl at work ask me what she should do about her stalled relationship, a couple of younglings drop in regularly to offload about their frustrations and joys, a couple more bloglings who seek guidance on all sorts of issues and this week a teary 24 year old lamenting lost love.
I think it's because I'm a questionning person. Some would say nosey but it's not like that. I'm not a busy body or a gossip, I'm genuinely interested in people I like. Asking questions about them gives me some insight into who they are and helps me develop a relationship - even with those I've never met. I don't mind, I'm happy to impart my opinion or advice through past experiences but I have no qualifications, I could be leading you all astray and I really have no idea what I'm talking about. So having put the disclaimer in place:
The latest enquiry was about the fine art of kissing. What's appropriate and when. To use the tongue or not to use the tongue. It was pretty intimidating to tell you the truth to offer an opinion on something that I haven't done in a romantic sense for quite a while. Thank goodness as one ages, the long term memory outlives the short. Plus, I've had many hot tips from ClareBear on what makes a great kisser. Some press too hard, some are sloppy, some to fluid, some just boring. Others are gentle and lingering . . . one dalliance she had last year put The Cricketer in the "best kisser in the world" category (which worried me slightly as I wondered just how many she'd pashed). The fact that he was a complete sociopath explains why even as the world's best, he received short shrift. So, through vicarious living, extended research and my own experience here are some hot tips on how to place a pash:
The Pub/Party Pash:
A couple of options here. There's the dance floor pash which is always good if you're unsure of the person you're with because if they're crap, you can walk away when the next track is played or make excuses about getting a drink or going to the loo. Or for the men, there's the against-the wall-hands-placed-above-and-beside-the-head pash. Makes your guns look virile and the babe feel small and feminine. Again, if she doesn't like it, she can do the underarm dash and if she does, you can press forward and who knows where that might lead. Gentlemen, make sure you're wearing deodorant for this one.
Of course the ultimate party pash is the couch potato or grab a bed pash. These can be dangerous precursors for women, hopeful at best for men. Whilst the pash might be hot . . the result may not. Make sure she's interested before going the grope and make sure he's decent before sneaking off to the boudoir. If you're under the affluence of incahol. Best to stay on the couch and there WILL be repercussions should you meet again. Be careful that you pick your target wisely.
The First Date Pash
The 'leave them wanting more but let them know you're interested' kiss. This one is usually in the car or on the doorstep, outside the nightclub or even in the lobby before you go your separate ways. It's sweet, gentle, short and tender and is usually followed by an exchange of phone numbers or Facebook addresses. Definitely in the French style but not to horny. Get the picture? Tongue optional but unless you're sexually repressed or English, I'd go for the Hollywood Kiss (see video)
The Hot Sex Pash
Ahh . . big pash before, definitely using the tongue . . you can get as into it as you like at this point in time but save the tonsil hockey. Let that carbon dioxide between you give you the woosy feeling that's so euphoric (sorry to be scientific but that's what lulls you into a feeling of euphoric bliss - a shortage of oxygen) Do the deed . . . throw in a few nibbly bits and gentle kisses during the the lovemaking but always finish with a lingering kiss. Take advantage of it girls because within seconds he'll have rolled over and begun to snore or have turned on the TV to see the footy results.
The 'I Like Watching You Wash Up Pash'
More intimate than you're average casual pash. This one's reserved for the young marrieds or defactos. The arms around the waste while you're busy doing something that limits your resistance. Starts on the nape of the neck and ends on the lips and usually involves rubber gloves and soapy water or a sneeze inducing duster or even a dish of baby food. Not recommended before you go to work unless you mind a wet patch on your business clothes.
The Drive By Pash
The quick snatch and grab, brush past, plant a softie with a little bit of tongue then do the dash before the recipient knows what's happened. Arouses curiosity, draws a smile and saves the promise of saving the best for later. Great for gauging interest. If their eyes don't follow you, you've mad a faux pas but saved yourself real embarrassment.
The EnglishPash
I can only speak for English men but the rule is, close your eyes, don't use your tongue, think of England and realise that it will be all over in a moment. I have yet to be kissed well by an Englishman and it's not from lack of trying!
The Get-a-Room Pash
For some reason, we see fewer of these and I think it's a good thing. The couple who can't keep their hands and lips away from each other in public places. I for one have nothing against public signs of affection - holding hands, a brush of the hair, a quick peck but as for the full on, rolling in the grass, grope snog in the middle of Centennial Park amongst the horse riders, dog walkers and small children . . nup. Get a room!
Now if you can kiss like Kate and Sawyer from Lost - give me a call, I'm definitely interested!
Feel free to offer more hot tips on Pashology I will incorporate them into the curriculum.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Thank God its Friday
Have a wonderful weekend punters. And big hugs for Rattie Mattie who is my new best friend, my secret crush and the best Level 2 Support Person next to Kahlerisms, I have EVA not met! Although I've met Kahlerisms and he's very nice as well as capable and lives in a little green house with Brethred and their two cats . . . . but I digress.Happy weekend to all of you who have been so supportive in person, email or the blog this week and wished both Clare and I all the best. I'm feeling much more relaxed and you were all right, it was the build-up to leaving not the actual departure that made me sad. I'm feeling much more together today and I've already had an email from Chile so it's all good. It's been a strange week and I've only actually worked for three days owing to the Public Holiday and having Thursday off so next week it's nose to the grindstone in earnest, I have so much to achieve.
Thanks BabySis for the reality check and DrummerBoy for being a brick. And of course all the rest of you who have been very sweet and full of good advice and best wishes for our travelling friend. If she shows up at yours, give her a couch! I'm very lucky to have such a select yet diverse group of commenters who seem to have an affection for this drivel and the person who slaps it down each day. I appreciate you too.
And some food for thought, don't believe all you see on TV broaden your minds, increase your knowledge and try to walk a mile in someone elses shoes (sometimes they're sparkly and if you click the heels together they'll take you to amazing places)
"There are two things which cannot be attacked in front: ignorance and narrow-mindedness. They can only be shaken by the simple development of the contrary qualities. They will not bear discussion"
Dalai Llama
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live"
Oscar Wilde
"Criticism of attempts to broaden intellectual, social, political and spiritual horizons come from people who cannot see past their own agenda!" (I made some of that up . . .)
Be nice to each other
Thursday, January 31, 2008
A Day Full of . . .well not much really

Not much to post about today. Well the girls got off OK on their early flight this morning. No tears you'll be pleased to hear. Two hours in Auckland and another 30 hours in Santiago waiting for their connection to Rio. Adam spent the day in bed (he pulled an all-nighter watching the Matrix and assorted DVD's before our early start this morning then crashed and burned at 8.00). My house is friggin' spotless thanks to cleaning therapy which includeded a total spring clean of ClareBear's appalling room and the linen press. (I know, most people go for retail therapy when they're stressed - I get out my crevice tool and clean like a whirling dirvish).
I recharged some batteries - two were not rechargable - don't go there, they explode! Apparently that crackling bangy noise they make is funny to 21 year old blokes. I almost gained kudos for the explosion after I recovered from the myocardial infarction but that was squashed by condemnation for being so stupid. Alright . . I didn't have my glasses on!
I changed Drummerboy's sheets . . not earth-shattering to you but a major coup for me and his room smells sweet.
Boidy got stung by a waps, we're not sure what kind of waps, it was a big waps but not a mud waps but it was in his shirt because he left it outside on the pool fence. See, I told him if he leaves clothes on the floor and hanging around, something stingy will get into them. Nyer!
I scored three towels, 4 ice tubs, a pair of 36cm waist board shorts and two boogie boards and half a caramel mud cake after the party . . .if they're yours, please come and get them or they'll go to St Vinnies nextweek. Except the cake, I have plans for that.
And . . we've just discovered 2 litres of Creaming Soda, 1 bottle of Pink, 1 Litre of Lemonade and a dozen Carona's left beside the bar fridge from the weekend - BONUS! Ha-ha, read it and weep if they're yours, they're in the fridge for the next half hour! Don't bother claiming them!
It's foikn hot and humid so excuse me, I'm off for a dangle in the crystal wateryness of our pool and a chotapeg with my little soldier boy while you-know-who is eating aeroplane food over Easter Island . . . (her bedroom is soooo clean and tidy right now!)
Right, get the boy to fire up the barbie!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Breakaway

*sob* I tried for hours to find an MP3 of this song . . .it was my Art Garfunkel sad song when I had to leave an English lover and return to Australia after an incredible three months in Europe but now it has new resonance as we prepare to get up at 4.00am to drive Clare and Jem to the airport. I won't hear from her until next Monday or Tuesday when she's settled in Rio . . that will be the longest I have ever gone without talking to my girl whether at home or 12,000 miles away. It's transitioned from a lover's lament to a mother's sigh . . .
I watch the distant lights along the runway
disappear into the evening sky.
Oh you know I'm with you on your journey,
never could say goodbye.
It's not the sun you're trying to find
something else is on your mind.
You need a little space and time to break away.
It's not the place you're going to,
it's just a phase you're going through.
Though I won't stop you, I don't want you to
Break away, fly across your ocean.
Break away, time has come for you.
Break away, fly across your ocean.
Break away, time has come...
For you to awaken in another country,
greet the morning under foreign skies.
Leaving me to face another Monday,
it's not easy to get by...
It's not the sun you're trying find
something else is on your mind.
You need a little space and time to break away.
It's not the place you're going to
it's just a phase you're going through.
Though I won't stop you, I don't want you to
Break away, fly across your ocean.
Break away, time has come for you.
Break away, fly across your ocean.
break away, time has come for you
Break away, fly across your ocean.
Break away...
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Bet You Didn't Know . . (prolly don't care . . .)

It's been a bit serious over at my place so here's a sweet distraction. Absolute Vanilla's best unfriend Atyllah is tagging memes. The rules are simple:
* link to the person who tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/ habits/ quirks about yourself
* tag at least 3 people at the end of the post and link to their blogs
* let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
mmm . . lets see, since most of what I post here is trivial drivel and singularly unimportant . . .
- I failed my first driving test for riding the clutch around corners but it was so long ago, now I drive an automatic so it was a moot point and nobody gives a shit so I guess that's pretty unimportant
- I can clean an entire house to hospital grade standards with little more than some Gumption and a duster and since ClareBear and DrummerBoy consider cleaning per se completely irrational and unnecessary, I guess that rates as being singularly unimportant.
- I have my own 'place' on the couch being a creature of habit and get a bit tetchy if someone else sits on my side which is conveniently placed near a table where I can place my glass and once upon a time, my cigarettes for handy access. It's very 'unimportant' where I sit but to me, this is my little corner of safety, my little untouched part of the kingdom that is the family room and woe betide anyone who sits there uninvited.
- I absolutely, have to make my bed every morning. No matter how late I am for work, it has to be done. Can't stand getting into an unmade bed (that's definitely unimportant and not cute enough to be quirky - perhaps just anal retentive)
- With the exception of the last two weeks, I rarely cry through sadness. But I can blubber uncontrollably when I'm angry. So if you want to make sense of what I'm saying, don't piss me off please.
- I think bras are the silliest invention EVER. Unless perhaps they are used to look enticing in the bedroom, what is their purpose? They are incredibly expensive torture contraptions. They don't stop your breasts drooping any more than breastfeeding does (that myth was fed to me years ago), they're incredibly uncomfortable. Difficult to put on and hard for men to take off without snapping something. It's embarrassing getting one 'fitted' and impossible to buy one that's comfy without. When you're nubile and pert, you don't need one and when you're middle aged and saggy they make you look 'matronly' and point your breasts in the wrong direction. I guess that's an unimportant quirk . .
OK. I quite like this meme because it's so unimportant and easy and for the creative, a chance to shine. (Note I am exceptionally dull) I'm going to tag Ropi and Ian because, the men seem to get away without being put on the spot and Nonny because she is a lazy blogger (um read has a life!) and this might get her going!This one could work if it was made from something less nipple cripply! But still no good for wearing under a T shirt.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Final Farewell Bash . . .




The boys hammed it up . . .
The bottlage accumulated . . .And by this morning . . .some were feeling a little fuzzy . . .
Others soaped up . . .

Slid down . . .

And started all over again . . .
All in all 14 hours of very successful partying, 80 odd people, 100 sausages 50 kebabs, 100 bread rolls, four kilos of salads, four sulo bins full of bottles, only one breakage and not a skerrick of food left in the fridge except caramel mud cake!Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Hottest 100
!!! - Heart Of Hearts
!!! - Must Be The Moon
120 Days - Sleepwalking
1990s - See You At The Lights
1990s - You Made Me Like It
1990s - You're Supposed To Be My Friend
4 Days In Geneva - Remember That Rhyme
67 Special - Shot At The Sun
67 Special - Killer Bees
78 Saab - Drive
78 Saab - One Of These Days
Academy Is…, The - Neighbors
Aesop Rock - Coffee
Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass
After The Fall - Cut Your Losses
Against Me! - Stop!
Against Me! - White People For Peace
Agoria - Cecile
Air - Once Upon A Time
Akron/Family - I've Got Some Friends
Alela Diane - The Pirate's Gospel
A-Love - Cowboys
A-Love - Love Is
A-Love - The Main Ingredient
A-Love (Feat. Yungun) - So Easy
Amy Winehouse - Rehab
Anberlin - Godspeed
Andrew Bird - Heretics
Angus & Julia Stone - Hollywood
Angus & Julia Stone - I'm Yours
Angus & Julia Stone - Just A Boy
Angus & Julia Stone - The Beast
Angus & Julia Stone - Wasted
Animal Collective - Fireworks
Animal Collective - Peacebone
Annuals - The Bull & The Goat
Arcade Fire - Black Mirror
Arcade Fire - Intervention
Arcade Fire - Keep The Car Running
Arcade Fire - No Cars Go
Arcade Fire - The Well & The Lighthouse
Archie Bronson Outfit - Kink
Architecture In Helsinki - Debbie
Architecture In Helsinki - Heart It Races
Architecture In Helsinki - Hold Music
Architecture In Helsinki - Lazy (Lazy)
Arctic Monkeys - Balaclava
Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm
Arctic Monkeys - D Is For Dangerous
Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent
Arctic Monkeys - Old Yellow Bricks
Arctic Monkeys - Teddy Picker
Art Brut - Direct Hit
Art Of Fighting - Free You
Ash - I Started A Fire
Ash - You Can't Have It All
Aston Shuffle - For Everyone
Astronomy Class - Done The Sums
Astronomy Class - Heatseeker
Astronomy Class - Rewind The Tape
Babyshambles - Delivery
Babyshambles - The Blinding
Bad Day Down - Haditha: Democracy Assasinated The Family Here
Bad Religion - Heroes & Martyrs
Bag Raiders - Fun Punch
Baggsmen - Bubblegum
Bamboos (Feat. Ohmega Watts) - Get In The Scene
Band Of Horses - Is There A Ghost
Bank Holidays - Oh Daylight
Bat For Lashes - Prescilla
Bat For Lashes - Trophy
Bat For Lashes - What's A Girl To Do?
Battles - Atlas
Battles - Leyendecker
BC Camplight - Lord, I've Been On Fire
Beastie Boys - Off The Grid
Beasts Of Bourbon - I Don't Care About Nothing Anymore
Beautiful Girls - I Thought About You
Beautiful Girls - In Love
Beautiful Girls - Royalty
Beautiful Girls - Under The Southern Sky
Beck - Timebomb
Bees - Left Foot Stepdown
Bees - Who Cares What The Question Is
Behind Crimson Eyes - Shakedown
Behind Crimson Eyes - You've Had Your Chance
Beirut - A Sunday Smile
Belles Will Ring - Mad Love
Belles Will Ring - Park Benches
Belles Will Ring - The Coldest Heart
Ben Harper - Fight Outta You
Ben Kweller - I Don't Know Why
Ben Kweller - I Gotta Move
Ben Kweller - Penny On The Train Track
Ben Lee - Love Me Like The World Is Ending
Ben Lee - Numb
Benjy Ferree - In The Countryside
Besnard Lakes - Devastation
Bias-B - Been There Done That
Biffy Clyro - Saturday Superhouse
Bill Callahan - Diamond Dancer
Billy Talent - Fallen Leaves
Billy Talent - Red Flag
Bird And The Bee - Fucking Boyfriend
Birds Of Tokyo - Black Sheets
Birds Of Tokyo - Wayside
Bishop Allen - Click Click Click Click
Bit By Bats - One Six One
Bjork - Earth Intruders
Bjork - Innocence
Black Francis (Frank Black) - Threshold Apprehension
Black Lips - I Saw A Ghost
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Weapon Of Choice
Blaqk Audio - Stiff Kittens
Bliss N Eso - Bullet And A Target
Blitzen Trapper - Wild Mountain Nation
Bloc Party - Waiting For The 7.18
Bloc Party - Flux
Bloc Party - Hunting For Witches
Bloc Party - I Still Remember
Bloc Party - Song For Clay
Bloc Party - Uniform
Bloc Party - Where Is Home?
Blonde Redhead - 23
Blonde Redhead - Dr Strangelove
Blow, The - Hey Boy
Blue King Brown - Stand Up
Bluejuice - The Reductionist
Bluejuice - Vitriol
Bonde Do Role - Marina Gasolina
Bonde Do Role - Office Boy
Bonde Do Role - Solta O Frango
Booka Shade - Numbers
Boys Noize - & Down
Braintax - Anti-Grey
Brand New - Jesus Christ
Bravery, The - Time Won't Let Me Go
Breeders - We're Gonna Rise
Bridezilla - Brown Paper Bag
Bright Eyes - Four Winds
Bright Yellow - Nice And Agreeable
British India - Black & White Radio
British India - Run The Red Light
British India - Russian Roulette
British India - Tie Up My Hands
Broken Keys - Razorblade
Broken West, The - Down In The Valley
Brothablack - Are You With Me Out There?
Brother Ali - Uncle Sam Goddamn
Brunettes - B.A.B.Y
Buck 65 - Way Back When
Bumblebeez - Dr Love
Bumblebeez - Freak Ya Loneliness
Bumblebeez - Rio
Busdriver - Casting Agents & Cowgirls
Butterfingers - Nothin' Much Happens
Butterfly Effect - Reach
By The Fireside - Moon Lake
Cajun Dance Party - Amylase
Calling All Cars - Hey You
Calvin Harris - Acceptable In The 80s
Calvin Harris - Merrymaking At My Place
Camels, The - Romance
Camera Obscura - If Looks Could Kill
Cancer Bats - French Immersion
Capital City - Let's Throw Our Love Away
Caribou - Melody Day
Cass McCombs - That's That
Cat Empire - Fishies
Cat Empire - No Longer There
Cat Empire - So Many Nights
Cat Power - Song To Bobby
Cathy Petocz - Wake Up O Sleeper
Checks, The - Take Me There
Chemical Brothers - Do It Again
Chemical Brothers - Saturate
Chemical Brothers - The Salmon Dance
Chemical Brothers (Feat. Klaxons) - All Rights Reversed
Chemical Brothers (Feat. Midlake) - The Pills Won't Help You Now
Chemical Brothers (Feat. Willy Mason) - Battlescars
Children Collide - Cannibal
Children Collide - We Are Amphibious
Chromeo - Tenderoni
Cicada - Things You Say
Cirkus (Feat. Neneh Cherry) - You're Such An Asshole
City Lights - Everyone Out
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Satan Said Dance
Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set - I Love The Way You Talk
Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set - Peccadilloes
Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set - When The Lights Went Down
Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set - You Looked So Good
Claude Vonstroke - Chimps
Claude Vonstroke - The Whistler
Claude Vonstroke - Who's Afraid Of Detroit
Cloud Control - Vintage Books
Cocorosie - Rainbowarriors
Coda - Miss Bliss
Cog - What If
Coheed And Cambria - The Running Free
Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry
Cold War Kids - Hospital Beds
Cold War Kids - Robbers
Cold War Kids - Saint John
Common - The People
Common (Feat. Lily Allen) - Drivin Me Wild
Cops - Cop Pop
Cops - The Message
Correcto - Joni
Cribs - Men's Needs
Crystal Castles - Crimewave
CSS - Let's Make Love & Listen To Death From Above
Custom Kings - Up Late
Cut Copy - Hearts On Fire
Cut Copy - So Haunted
Cut Off Your Hands - Oh Girl
Cut Off Your Hands - Still Fond
Cut Off Your Hands - You And I
Cuthbert & The Nightwalkers - Red Frogs
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (live)
Dallas Crane - God Damn Pride
Damien Rice - Rootless Tree
Damn Arms - Home Wrecker
Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill
Dappled Cities Fly - Holy Chord
Dappled Cities Fly - Vision Bell
Dappled Cities Fly - Work It Out
Dardanelles - Footsteps
Darren Hanlon - Fingertips & Mountaintops
Datarock - See What I Care
David McCormack - Spring Rain
Daysend - Winter
Daysend - No Regrets
dDub - Give It Some
Dead 60's - Riot Radio
Dead Letter Circus - Disconnect And Apply
Decemberists - O Valencia!
Decemberists - The Crane Wife
Decemberists - The Perfect Crime
Decemberists - Yankee Bayonet
Deerhoof - 81
Deerhoof - Believe Esp
Deloris - Everything Ever
Deloris - Loup Garou
Detroit Cobras - Leave My Kitten Alone
Devastations - Mistakes
Devendra Banhart - Lover
Diafrix - In Tha Place
Diafrix - African Affair
Digitalism - Digitalism In Cairo
Digitalism - Idealistic
Digitalism - Pogo
Digitalism - Zdarlight
Dillinger Escape Plan - Black Bubblegum
Dinosaur Jr. - Been There All The Time
Dirty Secrets - Five Feet Of Snow
Dirty Secrets - My Heart Is On Fire
Dizzee Rascal - Flex (Dave Spoon Remix)
Dizzee Rascal - Pussyole (Old Skool)
Dizzee Rascal - Sirens
Dizzee Rascal (Feat. Lily Allen) - Wanna Be
DJ Bonez (Feat. Funkoars) - Certified
DJ Bonez (Feat. Omni) - The Hot
DJ Eurok - This Is DC
DJ Jazzy Jeff (Feat. Jean Grae) - Supa Jean
DJ Vadim - Boom Sumting
Drones - River Of Tears
Dropkick Murphys - The State Of Massachussets
E.L.F. - Cockroaches
Eagles Of Death Metal - Cherry Cola
Eagles Of Death Metal - I Got A Feelin
Earl Gray - Beggin On Your Knees
Eddy Current Suppression Ring - Demon's Demands
Eddy Current Suppression Ring - Get Up Morning
Editors - An End Has A Start
Editors - Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors
Elektrofant - Cocaine
Elektrons - Dirty Basement
Elektrons - Get Up
Elf Tranzporter - I Awoke
El-P (Feat. Mr Lif) - Up All Night
Emilie Simon - Fleur De Saison
Enemy, The - Had Enough
Enter Shikari - Sorry You're Not A Winner
Epicure - Cobra Kisses
Eskimo Joe - Hey (Live)
Eskimo Joe - New York
Expatriate - Crazy
Expatriate - Gotta Get Home
Expatriate - Play A Part
Exploders, The - I Can't Dance
Eyerer & Chopstick - Make My Day (Haunting)
Faker - Are You Magnetic?
Faker - Lazybones
Faker - This Heart Attack
Faux Pas - Changes
Feist - 1234
Feist - My Moon My Man
Field Music - In Context
Fiery Furnaces - Ex-Guru
Foals - Hummer
Fog - The Last I Knew Of You
Foo Fighters - Cheer Up Boys (Your Make-up Is Running)
Foo Fighters - Erase/Replace
Foo Fighters - Let It Die
Foo Fighters - Long Road To Ruin
Foo Fighters - The Pretender
Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
Fratellis - Creepin Up The Backstairs
Fratellis - Flathead
Freestylers - Electrified
Frida Hyvonen - I Drive My Friend
Funkola (Feat. Optamus) - The Pilgrams
Future Of The Left - Small Bones Small Bodies
Galactic (Feat. Mr. Lif) - And I'm Out
Gallows - Abandon Ship
Gallows (Feat. Lethal Bizzle) - Staring At The Rude Bois
Getaway Plan - Streetlight
Ghostface Killah - You Know I'm No Good
Ghostwood - Red Version
Go! Team - Doing It Right
Go! Team - Grip Like A Vice
Gogol Bordello - Wonderlust King
Good Shoes - Never Meant To Hurt You
Good The Bad & The Queen - 80's Life
Good The Bad & The Queen - Green Fields
Goose - Bring It On
Goose - British Mode
Gossip, The - Listen Up! {Remix}
Grafton Primary - Relativity (MC Squared)
Grand Fatal - Dots & Dashes
Grand National - By The Time I Get Home…
Grinderman - (I Don't Need You To) Set Me Free
Grinderman - Love Bomb
Grinderman - No Pussy Blues
Grinspoon - Black Tattoo
Grinspoon - Business=Pleasure
Grinspoon - Carried Away
Grinspoon - Choir Boy
Grinspoon - What You Got
Groove Armada - Get Down
Groove Armada - Save My Soul
Groove Armada - The Girls Say
Groove Armada - What's Your Version?
Guts - And The Living Is Easy
Gyroscope - Snakeskin
Hanne Hukkelberg - A Cheater's Armoury
Hard-Fi - Suburban Knights
Hard-Fi - Can't Get Along (Without You)
Heavy, The - That Kind Of Man
Help She Can't Swim - Hospital Drama
Herd, The - Comrade Jesus Christ
Hilltop Hoods - Recapturing The Vibe (Restrung)
Hives, The - Tick Tick Boom
Hives, The - Try It Again
Hives, The - Well All Right!
Hives, The - You Got It All...Wrong
Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy
Hold Steady - Stuck Between Stations
Holidays, The - Holiday
Holly Throsby - One Of You For Me
Holy Fuck - Milkshake
Horrors - Count In Fives
Horrors - Gloves
Horrors - Sheena Is A Parasite
Horsell Common - Good From Afar
Hot Chip - Ready For The Floor
Hot Chip - Shake A Fist
Hot Chip - My Piano
Hot Hot Heat - 5 Times Out Of A 100
Hot Hot Heat - Let Me In
Hot Hot Heat - Outta Heart
Hot Lies, The - Emergency Emergency
Howling Bells - Cities Burning Down
I Heart Hiroshima - Punks
Iain Archer - When It Kicks In
Ian Ball - Failure
Idlewild - No Emotion
Illzilla - Live Enough
In Fiction - Ghosts
Institut Polaire - City Walls & Empires
Institut Polaire - Kentucky Society Drought
Intercooler - All Coming Back To Me
Intercooler - Wasted My Day
Interpol - Mammoth
Interpol - No I In Threesome
Interpol - The Heinrich Maneuver
Interpol - Pioneer To The Falls
Iron & Wine - Boy With A Coin
Iron & Wine - Pagan Angel And A Borrowed Car
Iron On - One Man Band
Jack Penate - Torn On The Platform
Jackson Jackson - Cats Rats & Pigeons
Jackson Jackson - Eliza
Jamie T - Back In The Game
Jamie T - Calm Down Dearest
Jamie T - Salvador
Jamie T - Sheila
Jarvis - Don't Let Him Waste Your Time
Jay-Z - Roc Boys (& The Winner Is)
Jenny Wilson - Summertime (The Roughest Time)
Jens Lekman - The Opposite Of Hallelujah
Jet - Holiday
Jimmy Eat World - Big Casino
Joakim - Lonely Hearts
Joanna Newsom - Sawdust & Diamonds
John Butler Trio - Better Than
John Butler Trio - Daniella
John Butler Trio - Devil Running
John Butler Trio - Good Excuse
John Butler Trio - Used To Get High
John Steel Singers - Strawberry Wine
Jose Gonzalez - Down The Line
Jose Gonzalez - How Low
Jose Gonzalez - In Our Nature
Jose Gonzalez - Killing For Love
Josh Pyke - Fed And Watered
Josh Pyke - Forever Song
Josh Pyke - Lines On Palms
Josh Pyke - Sew My Name
Josh Pyke - Someone Else's Town
Josh Pyke - Vibrations In Air
Junior Boys - In The Morning
Junior Senior - Can I Get Get Get
Justice - D.A.N.C.E
Justice - The Party
K.I.M - Wet N Wild
Kaiser Chiefs - Everything Is Average Nowadays
Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby
Kaiser Chiefs - The Angry Mob
Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothin
Kanye West - Champion
Kanye West - Everything I Am
Kanye West - Flashing Lights
Kanye West - Good Morning
Kanye West - Homecoming
Kanye West - Stronger
Karnivool - The Only Way
Kasabian - Shoot The Runner
Kat Frankie - The Tops
Katalyst - All You've Got
Katalyst - I Know A Place
Katalyst (Feat. Matt McHugh) - Over And Over
Katalyst (Feat. Stephanie McKay) - Say What You Feel
Katalyst (Feat. Steve Spacek) - How Bout Us
Kate Nash - Foundations
Kelley Stoltz - Your Reverie
Kenneth Bager (Feat. Julee Cruise) - Les Fleurs
Kid Confucius - Last Straw
Kid Confucius - Moment
Killers, The - For Reasons Unknown
Killers, The (Feat. Lou Reed) - Tranquilize
Kills, The - U.R.A Fever
King Creosote - You Are Could I?
Kings Of Leon - Black Thumbnail
Kings Of Leon - Charmer
Kings Of Leon - Fans
Kings Of Leon - On Call
Kisschasy - Factory
Kisschasy - Opinions Won't Keep You Warm At Night
Kisschasy - Spray On Pants
Kisschasy - Strings And Drums
Klaxons - As Above, So Below
Klaxons - Atlantis To Interzone
Klaxons - Golden Skans
Klaxons - It's Not Over Yet
Klaxons - Two Receivers
Knife, The - Like A Pen
K-Os - Sunday Morning
Krafty Kuts Vs Freestylers - Dynamite Love
Last Town Chorus - Modern Love
Laura Imbruglia - Hurt My Feelings
Laura Imbruglia - Looking For A Rabbit
Lavender Diamond - Open Your Heart
Lavender Diamond - You Broke My Heart
LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends
LCD Soundsystem - New York I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down
LCD Soundsystem - North American Scum
LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great
LCD Soundsystem - Time To Get Away
Leroy Lee - Drawing Smoke
Les Savy Fav - The Equestrian
Lethal Bizzle - Babylon's Burning The Ghetto
Liam Finn - Second Chance
Liars - Plaster Casts Of Everything
Lightspeed Champion - Tell Me What It's Worth
Lior - Heal Me
Little Barrie - Green Eyed Fool
Little Barrie - Love You
Little Barrie - Pretty Pictures
Little Red - Waiting
Living End, The - Rising Sun
Lo-Fi-FNK - Wake Up
Long Blondes, The - Giddy Stratospheres
Long Blondes, The - Once & Never Again
Lordz Of The Fly (Feat. N'fa) - Make It Loud
Los Campesinos - You! Me! Dancing!
Lost Valentinos - 17 Deaths
Lost Valentinos - Rain
Lou Rhodes - The Rain
Louis XIV - There's A Traitor In This Room
Love Is All - Busy Doing Nothing
Love Of Diagrams - Pace Or The Patience
Love Of Diagrams - Form & Function
Lupe Fiasco (Feat. Matthew Santos) - Superstar
M.I.A - 20 Dollar
M.I.A - Bird Flu
M.I.A - Boyz
M.I.A - Jimmy
M.I.A - Paper Planes
Machine Translations - You'll Change
Machine Translations - Need A Miracle
Magic Dirt - Dirty One
Magic Dirt - Bring Me The Head Of…
Magic Numbers - This Is A Song
Malajube - Montreal -40 Degrees Celcius
Malcolm Middleton - A Brighter Beat
Malente - Killer Application
Mammal - Slaves
Maps - You Don't Know Her Name
Mares, The - Biscuit Tin
Marilyn Manson - Heart Shaped Glasses
Mark Ronson - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face
Mark Ronson (Feat. Amy Winehouse) - Valerie
Mark Ronson (Feat. Daniel Merriweather) - Stop Me
Mark Ronson (Feat. Lily Allen) - Oh My God
Mars Volta - Wax Simulacra
Martin Craft - You Are The Music
Mastodon - Colony Of Birchmen
Matt Costa - Mr. Pitiful
Mattafix - In The Background
Mattafix - Skate Your Limbs
Mattafix - Stranger Forever
Mattafix - Things Have Changed
Maximo Park - Girls Who Play Guitars
Maximo Park - Our Velocity
Mayday! - Groundhog Day
Menomena - Wet And Rusting
Mercy Arms - Uptown Address
Mercy Arms - Kept Low
Mere Theory - Stabilise
Mess Hall, The - Keep Walking
Mexican Institute Of Sound - Escribeme Pronto
Mia Dyson - People Will Turn On You
Mickey Avalon - Jane Fonda
Microsleep - Get My Name Right
Midnight Juggernauts - Ending Of An Era
Midnight Juggernauts - Into The Galaxy
Midnight Juggernauts - Road To Recovery
Midnight Juggernauts - Tombstone
Midnight Juggernauts - Twenty Thousand Leagues
Minus The Bear - Knights
Missy Higgins - 100 Round The Bends
Missy Higgins - Peachy
Missy Higgins - Secret
Missy Higgins - Steer
Missy Higgins - The Wrong Girl
Missy Higgins - Warm Whispers
Mista Savona - Land Of The Brave
Mista Savona - Turn Up The Music
Mista Savona - World A Run So
Modest Mouse - Dashboard
Modest Mouse - Fire It Up
Modest Mouse - Florida
Modest Mouse - Missed The Boat
Modest Mouse - We've Got Everything
Money Mark - Pick Up The Pieces
Motion City Soundtrack - This Is For Real
M's, The - Mansion In The Valley
Mum - Marmalade Fires
Muph & Plutonic - The Day Off (Remix)
Muscles - One Inch Badge Pin
Muscles - Chocolate, Raspberry, Lemon & Lime
Muscles - Sweaty
Muscles - Ice Cream
Muse - Invincible
Muse - Knights Of Cydonia
My Brightest Diamond - Golden Star
My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
Nation Blue, The - We Lost Everything
National, The - Mistaken For Strangers
Ned Collette - The Country With A Smile
New Buffalo - Cheer Me Up Thank You
New Buffalo - City & Sea
New Buffalo - Emotional Champ
New Buffalo - You've Gone My Friend
New Pornographers - Myriad Harbour
New Rules For Boats - Skips On My Record
New Young Pony Club - Get Lucky
New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream
New Young Pony Club - The Bomb
Nine Black Alps - Burn Faster
Nine Inch Nails - Capital G
Nine Inch Nails - Survivalism
Number Station - Way We Live
Of Montreal - Like A Promethean Curse
Offcutts - Cold Morning Happiness
Ohmega Watts - For What It's Worth
Ok Go - Invincible
Okkervil River - Unless It's Kicks
Old Man River - Summer
Operator Please - Crash Tragic
Operator Please - Get What You Want
Operator Please - Just A Song About Ping Pong
Operator Please - Leave It Alone
Operator Please - Yes Yes
Operator Please - Zero Zero
Panics, The - Creaks
Panics, The - Cruel Guards
Panics, The - Don't Fight It
Panics, The - Get Us Home
Paper Scissors - Yamanote Line
Parov Stelar - On My Way Now
Patience - Lee Remick
Patrick Watson - Luscious Life
Patrick Wolf - Accident & Emergency
Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position
Peabody - The Devil For Sympathy
Peeping Tom - We're Not Alone
Pegz - No Attachments
Pendulum - Blood Sugar
Pendulum - Granite
Pepe Deluxe - Go For Blue
Pharoah Monche - Welcome To The Terrordome
Pharoah Monche - Push
Phonique (Feat. Erlend Oye) - Casualities
Phrase (Feat. Ian Kenny) - Face It
Pigeon Detectives - I Found Out
Pigeon Detectives - I'm Not Sorry
Pinback - Good To Sea
Pj Harvey - When Under Ether
Plan B - Mama (Loves A Crackhead)
Plan B - More Is Enough
Plastic Palace Alice - Empire Falls
Plug-In City - Broke On A Wheel
Pnau - Baby
Pnau - Shock To My System
Pnau - Wild Strawberries
Pnau - With You Forever
Polyphonic Spree - Running Away
Pop Levy - Pick -Me-Up Uppercut
Powderfinger - Black Tears
Powderfinger - Head Up In The Clouds
Powderfinger - I Don't Remember
Powderfinger - Lost And Running
Powderfinger - Nobody Sees
Powderfinger - Who Really Cares
Poxymusic - She Bites
Presets, The - My People
Princess 1.5 - I'm Onto Something Good
Punks Jump Up - Dance To Our Disco
Puscifer - Queen B
Queens Of The Stone Age - 3's & 7's
Queens Of The Stone Age - I'm Designer
Queens Of The Stone Age - Sick, Sick, Sick
Queens Of The Stone Age - Suture Up Your Future
Radiohead - 15 Step
Radiohead - All I Need
Radiohead - Bodysnatchers
Radiohead - House Of Cards
Radiohead - Jigsaw Falling Into Place
Radiohead - Nude
Radiohead - Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
Rakes, The - We Danced Together
Rastawookie - Perfectly Ordinary
Record Producer - The Way
Red Jezebel - Kicking Deadly Sins
Red Jezebel - More Than You'll Ever Know
Red Riders - In My Sleep
Red Riders - My Love Is Stronger Than Your Love
Red Sun Band - Like An Arrow
Regina Spektor - Better
Regina Spektor - Real Love
Regina Spektor - Samson
Regina Spektor - That Time
Regular John - The Devil's Melody
Regular John - Who We Are
Regurgitator - Blood And Spunk
Rephrase - Chase Your Tail
Resin Dogs - Coming With The Sound
Resurrectors - Healing
Reverend And The Makers - Heavyweight Champion Of The World
Richard In Your Mind - The New Sun
Rilo Kiley - Silver Lining
Riot In Belgium - La Musique
Rise Against - The Good Left Undone
RJD2 - You Never Had It So Good
Robyn - Cobrastyle
Robyn - With Every Heartbeat
Roisin Murphy - Overpowered
Roots, The - Long Time
Rufus Wainwright - Going To A Town
Ryan Adams - Halloween
Sage Francis (Feat. Jolie Holland) - Got Up This Morning
Salmonella Dub - Love, Sunshine And Happiness
Samim - Heater
Saosin - Sleepers
Sarah Blasko - Bye Bye Pride
Sarah Blasko - Planet New Year
Saturday Knights - Motorin'
Scare, The - Bats! Bats! Bats!
Scare, The - Eighty Eight
Scenario Rock - Skitzo Dancer
Scientists Of Modern Music - Easy
Scott Matthews - Elusive
Scout Niblett - Just Do It
Scribe - Say It Again
Serj Tankian - Empty Walls
Shake Up, The - What Are You Worried About?
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - Tell Me
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - 100 Days, 100 Nights
Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra - Kiss The Sky
Shins, The - Australia
Shins, The - Phantom Limb
Shins, The - Sealegs
Shins, The - Turn On Me
Shout Out Louds - Impossible
Shout Out Louds - Tonight I Have To Leave It
Shy Child - Drop The Phone
Sia - Pictures
Sigur Ros - Hljomalind
Silents, The - 23
Silverchair - All Across The World
Silverchair - If You Keep Losing Sleep
Silverchair - Low
Silverchair - Reflections Of A Sound
Silverchair - Straight Lines
Silverchair - The Man That Knew Too Much
Silverchair - Young Modern Station
Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
Silversun Pickups - Well Thought Out Twinkles
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler
Simian Mobile Disco - I Believe
Simian Mobile Disco - It's The Beat
Simian Mobile Disco - Love
Skipping Girl Vinegar - One Chance
Skybombers, The - It Goes Off
Sloan - Who Taught You To Live Like That?
Sly Hats, The - Vampire Sips
Smallgoods, The - Driving Song
Smallgoods, The - Traipse Through The Valley
Smashing Pumpkins - Tarantula
Snowman - Swimming With Sharks
So Many Dynamos - Progess
Soft Tigers - Karate
Soft Tigers - M.A.R.I.A
Soft Tigers - Mr Ice Cream
Softightes - The Robots In My Room Were Playing Arena Rock
Soko - I'll Kill Her
Something For Kate - The Futurist
Sons & Daughters - Darling
Souls On Board - Where The Dance Is
Soulsavers - Paper Money
Sparkadia - Animals
Sparkadia - Morning Light
Special Patrol - Hey Good Try
Specimens, The - I'm A Believer
Speech Defect (Feat. Ugly Duckling) - Superfuture
Spit Syndicate - Here Today
Spoon - Don't Make Me A Target
Spoon - My Little Japanese Cigarette Case
Spoon - The Underdog
Spoon - You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb
St Vincent - Now Now
Stars - Take Me To The Riot
Stateless - Prism #1
Stateless - Exit
Stooges, The - My Idea Of Fun
Strung Out - Calling
Studio - Self Service
Sugar Army - And Now You're Old Enough I Think That You Should Know
Sunny Day Sets Fire - Wilderness
Super Furry Animals - Show Your Hand
Superengine - Intermittent Lies
Switch - A Bit Patchy
Taken By Trees - Lost & Found
Talib Kweli - Listen!!
Tapes 'N Tapes - Insistor
Tecoma - Air To Me
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Bomb.Repeat.Bomb
Teenager - Alone Again
Teenager - Pony
Teenagers In Tokyo - End It Tonight
Tegan And Sara - Back In Your Head
Tegan And Sara - Hop A Plane
Tegan And Sara - The Con
Telemetry Orchestra - Hazy Elevator
Temper Trap, The - My Sun
Tepr - Minuit Jacuzzi
That 1 Guy - Buttmachine
Dr. Dog - The Girl
Theatre Of Disco - Go Fifi
These New Puritans - Colours
Thrills, The - Nothing Changes Around Here
Thurston Moore - The Shape Is In A Trance
Tilly & The Wall - Bad Education
Tim Armstrong - Into Action
Tim Rogers - When Yer Sad
Ting Tings, The - That's Not My Name
Tobias Cummings & The Long Way Home - Battleships
Tokyo Police Club - Nature Of The Experiment
Tokyo Police Club - Cheer It On
Tongue, The - Real Thing
Tongue, The - The Punch
Tori Amos - Big Wheel
Treetops - Wisdom Beads
Trentemoller - Moan (Remix)
Trial Kennedy - The Great Escape
True Live - Keep Myself Awake
Tunng - Bullets
Turbonegro - Do You Do You Dig Destruction
Turin Brakes - Stalker
U.N.K.L.E - Burn My Shadow
U.N.K.L.E - Hold My Hand
U.S.E - It Is On!
Underworld - Crocodile
Unwritten Law - Shoulda Known Better
Urthboy - Nuthin I'd Rather Do
Urthboy - We Get Around
Urthboy - The Signal
Urthboy (Feat. Mia Dyson) - Over Before It Began
Used, The - Paralysed
Used, The - The Bird & The Worm
Vampire Weekend - Mansard Roof
Van She - Cat & The Eye
Vasco Era - When It First Showed Up
Vasco Era - When We Tried To Get You To Settle Down
Vents - A Love Song
VHS Or Beta - Can't Believe A Single Word
Via Tania - Our Wild Flight
View, The - Same Jeans
View, The - Wasted Little DJ's
Von Sudenfed - The Rhinohead
Wahas, The - New Suit
Waifs, The - Sun Dirt Water
Waldeck - Midsummer Night Blues
Walkmen, The - Lost In Boston
Walkmen, The - Louisiana
Walrus - Marilyn Monroe
Walrus - War!
Ween - Learnin To Love
Whigs, The - Technology
Whirlpool Productions - From Disco To Disco
White Rose Movement - Alsatian
White Rose Movement - Testcard Girl
White Stripes - Conquest
White Stripes - Icky Thump
White Stripes - I'm Slowly Turning Into You
White Stripes - Rag And Bone
White Stripes - You Don't Know What Love Is
Whitley - A Shot To The Stars
Whitley - I Remember
Whitley - Lost In Time
Wilco - What Light
Wind & Brackets - Nu Nu (Za Za)
Wolfmother - Pleased To Meet You
Wombats, The - Let's Dance To Joy Division
Wombats, The - Moving To New York
Wombats, The - Kill The Director
Wons Phreely - Everything Fits
Wu-Tang Clan - The Heart Gently Weeps
Xavier Rudd - Better People
X-Press 2 - Kill 100
Yacht - See A Penny (Pick It Up)
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Down Boy
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Sealings
Yelle - A Cause Des Garcons
Young And Restless - I Pointed At You And You Burst Into Flames
Young And Restless - Kapow!
Young And Restless - Police Police
Youth Group - Start Today Tomorrow
Yungun And Mr Thing - This Is Who We Be
Zeph & Azeem - Play The Drum
Z-Trip (Feat. Clutch) - Doin' It Like This
ZZT - Lower State Of Consciousness
Well, congrats to whoever does get No.1 at best it's an excuse for a partay - and as Lupe Fiasco would say . . .You're a superstar!
Regrets I Have a Few
This week the invitations are rife. She has been entertained at work with lunches and signs of appreciation, she is being entertained at night by girlfriends taking her for expensive secret dinners and appointments as a grande finale. She has Australia day celebrations today during her last day at work and has asked me to pick her up, guaranteed that she will have imbibed all afternoon and not be fit to drive. On the weekend, we are having a farewell to end farewells complete with the water slippery slide, pool both wet and involving hard balls, poker, dancing, guests including family and friends and guaranteed to be a bender from midday into the small hours. (I'm dreading the cleanup on Monday).
As she left last night with two life long friends for a surprise dinner, she was, tanned, gorgeous, silf-like, sexy and a little fragile in a pretty little black dress with a satin ribbon tie. Of course I teared up again . . . something that is completely alien to me. I am not a crier by any means. I find myself not speaking to her or looking at her too often because it sets me off. I began thinking whether I'd done everything right. Whether I've properly prepared both my children for the world at large.
With her and with DrummerBoy, I think I've done all I can. He could do with a little more shaping round the rough edges but other than that no regrets. I think parenting is my swansong, my magnum opus. It's something I've done well to date. I wish I could sing that Sinatra song, My Way "Regrets I've had a few but then again too few to mention . . ." Sadly I have a stable- full of regrets. There's a load of stuff I'd do differently if I could:
- I'd hug my dad more. We had an 'unstated' affection for each other but all he wanted/needed was a bit more physical affection after my mum died. I was a 'there there' pat on the back 7 seconds should do it type. No. I should have embraced him more often, told him I understood and loved him more often.
- I wish I'd never bought two horses
- I should have made love to my husband the night before he died instead of bickering about bla bla issues that had no importance. I never had the chance to explain the following morning.
- I wish I'd shown my vulnerability after he died. I should have told people how devastated and upset I was instead of being this bastion of self control so that those who wanted to help felt they no longer needed to offer assistance. Years later, I found my mother's diary and she stated that I was untouchable, frail and unaproachable and expressed how impotent she felt not being able to communicate with me.
- I should have been more careful with my money. I had an insurance payout. I didn't squander it but I could have made better use of it.
- I should have put well fitting fly screens on my house.
- I should have been kinder to HippyBro even though he's an asshole I shouldn't have given him the ammunition to hate me.
- I should never have gained so much weight at 35, now it's a bitch to whittle away
- I should have put more thought into the design of my house or indeed whether I should have built it on my parent's property in the first place.
- I should have embarked on a romantic relationship when I was younger instead of worrying so much about what my children might have thought.
- I should be less of an iron maiden and a coper. Those who flounder or appear useless seem to get more support.
- I should have been more proactive in maintaining my friendships. Fortunately, they are wonderful people and the important ones have forgiven my lack of contact.
So you see, I have regrets. And much as people tell me they don't regret anything, I can't believe that's true. Right now, I regret taking my daughter overseas when she was 12. I regret sending her to Japan on a school exchange . . . by the same token, I want her to have the wealth of experience that travel - not just touring - provides. So, while I consider putting her woollies in moth-proof plastic and cleaning off her hard drive and turning her bedroom into an office, I am trying very hard to balance my regrets with the gratitude that I feel for having had a very tumultuous but interesting life so far and two incredibly well-adjusted children for whom I hold a deep love and respect with absolutely no regrets.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Aussie Internet Relies on Relay Galapagan Tortoises
*pours another wine and puts up with crap Thursday night TV and fantasises about Rattie Mattie*
Kick a Migrant
Quite appropriate considering Australia Day is approaching . . . viva diversity and multiculturalism.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Vale Heath

A young actor named Heath Ledger died today. He was 28 years young. Feeling a little peaky with pneumonia according to his publicist, having difficulty sleeping due to his recent role as the Joker in the next Batman installment and expecting a 10.00am massage to soothe the stress. His time of death was calculated at around 7am.
Our office was abuzz with the sad news. This kid is an Australian heart-throb and most of the kids I work with consider him a peer, they were flabbergasted, sad, curious . . how could someone with so much to live for just die like that - he wasn't a Brittney or a Lindsay.
Did he accidentally take too many sleeping pills? Why book a massage if he intended to commit suicide? Was foul play involved? Or was he a troubled young man and his friends didn't see the signs?
It brought back memories of 1990 when I arrived at work to find out that the mechanic who owned the workshop below my office had blown his brains out. We were shattered. Only a couple of days ago, he'd cheerfuly serviced my car and it broke my heart to wonder how someone could get to such a low and desperate point that they would do this rather than face their family with news of bankruptcy. We found out the reason for his early demise as my mother nursed with his wife. She had no idea of their financial state of affairs. He left her and two teenage sons and a lifetime of questions and regrets.
I can't imagine the depths of depression, loneliness and hopelessness someone would have to reach to commit suicide. And while I've been close to it on occasion, my own father made a failed attempt many years ago (although he was under the influence and I suspect it was just 'dramatics) and don't think it hasn't crossed my mind during the dark times of loss and mourning or financial hardshipo, I'm worth a tidy sum ascending the ether but living worth little thanks to debt. But we didn't . . we didn't go that extra step any more than we would have progressed from that other differential step from smacking a small child to child abuse.
What amazes me is how people can keep their depression to themselves. How they can be absolutely blitzed on brain numbing drugs to get them through the day and nobody notices. How they can be outwardly jolly or even argumentative yet inside sombre and suffering. How they shoulder this seemingly alone. How others don't see the little tell tale signs and giveaways.
This isn't really a post worthy of comments, just thinking out loud. Whether young Heath pulled his own metaphorical trigger, was just ill or met with foul play, he was was a new father, a young man with a stella career behind and in front of him, no money worries, a strong family, good health with prospects and everything to live for . . . I sincerely hope he died of natural causes - tragic as that is, I would hate to think of such a future snuffed out by a moment of irrational thought or that he had perhaps made a plea so veiled that it had gone unnoticed.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Rageing Against the Machine
One guy rang up about a squeaky garage door that his father refused to repair and which woke him up at 5.00am when he didn't need to be up until 7 . . well that doesn't rate too highly in my book. I have cockatoos that do the same. And I have a frustrating leaf blower where the choke is permanently out so DrummerBoy has arranged some ingenious silly putty remedy to make sure the mix doesn't get too rich. Plus the pump on my washing machine is tempermental and sometimes I have to stand with the hose lowered into a bucket in order to have it spin properly. Normally cantankerous machines don't bother me too much.
Today my rage was angled at a machine with whom I have a volatile relationshipo. MyPC which died last week is now hanging on by a thread until the newbie arrives in a week or so . . . it won't open the internet, crashes sporadically - I mean just restarts without so much as a 'may I', or closes Outlook if it doesn't like the sender of a particular email. So that combined with persistent web connection problems let to me talking to the very handsome (I've never met him but I'm sure he is) Rattie Mattie - by his own confession, "sweet, white and girly" . . . he made me laugh, he solved my problem and he calmed the savage breast . . .without him I may have sore knuckles and a broken screen.
He brought me from this:
To this:
Sunday, January 20, 2008
They Dance Alone
Back to documentaries. I love everything David Attenborough being the part-time environmentalist I am. I liked Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth' and whether you believe global warming is attributable to carbon spending or just a natural phenomenon, there is no dispute that it's happening. Incidentally, I also watched 'The Great Global Warming Swindle" and found neither conclusive. I've watched the Mike Moore tabloid docos burst into their headquarters technique and give them grief bullshit (although I did find some truth in Bowling for Columbine) and frankly, the man is biased and obnoxious even if he does present an expose worthy of discussion. I even sat through the rubbish that was "Supersize Me" as if anyone is going to eat Macdonalds food for three months exclusively, absolute trash! But this afternoon, hot, balmy and whilst home alone, I hired The War on Democracy by John Pilger, due in no small part to ClareBear's sojourn into South America and a desire to understand more about what the inhabitants of this huge continent are like.
I respect John Pilger. He's been around a long, long time. I've seen a lot of his work. He's a non-sensationalist protagonist of corrupt regimes from way back and entirely credible to my mind and this film is a piece of genius if you can stand watching man's inhumanity to man and the involvement of the American Empire in South American politics. He's the David Attinborough of the political world and well worth considering in my view. What continues to annoy me, living in the peaceful, arse end of the world that nobody gives a shit about, is man's inhumanity to man and how we allow fascism to not just rear its ugly head but to actually get a grip, albeit brief in some cases but long enough to exact it's sadistic punishment on innocents, to happen. It took Australia decades to support East Timor . . . and I have my own theories about that. I think the Bali Bombings changed our complacent attitude towards Indonesia . . so we went in to help. 30 years after the fact!
Back to the US and there propagation of empire. Yes, I said Empire . . . they call it National Security . . . if anything threatens national security in the US (and lets face it, getting on a plane with a T-shirt bearing the image of George Bush saying "I am a Terrorist" is considered a breach of national security - I rather believe it to be the truth!), they're prepared to invade countries based on fallacious accusations, finance coups, tolerate and promote torture, (Guantanamo bay for fuck's sake!) provide finance or generally commit any act of desperation to secure their position as the world's leading power in the interest of National Security . . . get over your paranoia America and let self-determination take place whether it's in your interest or not. I don't absolve Australia in this, we blindly follow but hopefully the new administration will have a less sycophantic view of the US and make its own decisions or at least informed decisions. Ironically, it will be economics and consumerism that will cause the impotence of the US. . .
Watch this doco, please . . . and I'm not being paid for this commercial. (Sorry about Sting but the lyrics are very appropriate . . . )
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Blokes Guide To Understanding Sheilas

It' no joke but the so called Aussie foreplay, "Are you awake luv?" is often not too far from the truth. Some men are terrific at working women out, some are absolutely hopeless, some men just can't be bothered but I stole this from a friend's Facebook page and just quietly fellas . . . it has resonance (don't worry, I'm working on one for the girls - contributions welcome!):
When she walks away from you mad follow her
When she stare's at your mouth kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you grab her and don't let go
When she start's yelling at you kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you give her your attention
When she pull's away pull her back
When you see her at her worst tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, hold her and don't say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, let her keep it
When she tease's you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, dont look away until she does
When she says she misses you she's hurting inside
When you break her heart the pain never really goes away
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's backside am I kicking?"
mmm . . lot to remember!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Weeks End

OK as I write this, I'm at work, hanging on a phone listening to calming classical music, some Pastoral Symphony interrupted occasionally by a woman telling me that I've progressed in the queue but I can press 1 and leave a message if I like. I'm afraid that if I leave a message for Douggie who has kept me waiting 7 hours before I really got cranky and decided he wasn't going to return my call, it might be profane so I'll wait until the uncommunicative little helldesker can solve my friggin dilemma!
So last day of the first week back and it's all been spent with Helldesks and Client Service departments. The posts have been a little serious this week too, so time to lighten up before the weekend. So for your light entertainment and edification I include some words of wisdom for your entertainment, consideration and recycle bins:
bright until you hear them speak.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone
would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time,
on a hill, in the fog.
The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk
left by those who got there first.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands
of 12 people who weren
You only need two tools in life - WD40 and Duct Tape.
- -If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
- -If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
And Douggie finally did ring back. He told me about his travels around NZ with a polish girlf, sister and mother in law and that he hadn't had lunch but he's a decent dude. . . .still hasn't solved my problem . . .rest easy Douggie . . I'll be on your case on Monday. And thanks Kahlerisms for the tip on finding my PC ID even if you were pissed after a liquid lunch!





