You Are My Joy

Working with that woman is bloody exhausting and wastes at least three hours a day of my time . . .'No' is not in her vernacular and if she can't get satisfaction with me, she runs to the next person or up the ladder and pisses off the partners. After the tornado that is The Most Annoying Paraplanner In the World, I have a barrage of emails complaining about her interruptions and begging me to 'sort it out'. Even Sgt Bilko who is hardly a brother in arms was ready to share my lunchtime nervous breakdown.

My 'role' it seems is to form a barrier between TMAPPITW and the Partners. She can piss off any of us in the Quadrangle or the other Advisers but not them . . .fail and it's my fault for letting her crash through the border like a Sherman tank, and crash she does.

I don't have a very exciting job. I do Marketing for a SME, act as Executive Assistant to one of the Partners who happens to be my best friend's husband, manage IT and problems with our industry database, manage an Administration team, two ParaPlanners and an Insurance Administrator, maintain HR and generally ensure the office runs efficiently so that those who are good at getting on with clients can focus on their craft. I'm also expected to be the bouncer when TMAPITW has an argument with other members of staff. It has now become my role to prevent tears from Jaime and to prevent the Argentinian from explaining why the post war Polish moved to Argentina in the first place via a complete demonstration of what really went down in Auschwitz and stripping her of her dignity. (Actually he'd never do that, his patience is amazing, I can just see his piercing blue eyes through the strips of frosted glass pleading with me to interject and bust him outta there!)

So despite being this rather busy multi-tasker, (and besides the fact that her shenanigans often stop me talking to my wunderkind via Skype in the morning) I am the wearer of three professional hats and the arbitrator of 'heated exchanges', I have a feeling I won't be remembered as an office peacekeeper, a capable worker, a communicator, team leader or good delegater and time manager . . .I'll be remembered as that terrific Practice Manager who ran across the road today to buy a coffee machine because apparently the workforce can't make a plunger or abide instant coffee . . about 7 people whinged that our coffee maker had called it quits, not ONE, had the gumption to go and buy another . . .

Or, I'll be that amazing person who ordered appropriate signage so that clients come to reception instead of into our offices upstairs, I'll be the wonder woman who washes the tea towels then forgets to bring them back until the following Thursday . . the idiot who sent an email 'about' someone 'to' them - twice. Yep, I'll be the moron who told a client he can withdraw $10,000 from his super even though he isn't 60 and other more qualified people told me it would be OK . . then I could be remembered for being the all-swearing beligerant biatch who whinges loudly when she does someone elses filing. Thank God we don't yet have a swear jar! I'll definitely be remembered for my decorating skills as painting office walls yellow with blue trim and putting frosting on the glass was at the time quite radical and had the entire office become interior decorators, although we seem to have become used to it by now.

I won't be remembered for the invisible stuff like updating the website, cleaning up the database, solving problems before they become so, initiating Performance Reviews or my stunning marketing plans because I am adept at letting others think it's their idea (Man's world and all that . . .give them the information and let them take the credit.) I certainly won't be remembered for preventing Thommo from lynching just about every IT consultant we've ever employed. Except perhaps by Thommo who knows that she has a short fuse when it comes to pale and interesting skinny guys talking in a language she doesn't understand.

I'll definitely be remembered for speaking my mind . . and frankly, if that woman harps on again about one more time-wasting, work-shafting, process-changing wonder idea because she's a Paraplanner you know . . .I'll bloody deck her!

So with violence in mind (and I'm not a violent person). I flew out the door at 5pm in a most uncharacteristic flurry, ready to kick my tyres, give every motorist the not so ring finger and get stuck into DrummerBoy about something insignificant just because I needed to vent . . .then I heard this on the radio and a lovely calm swooned over me as I thought about the people I really like, love and give me joy . . .I'm not naming names but you, along with the special ones, are my joy!