Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Accentuate the Positive and Never Mind the Sausage

A recent book published outlines all the things that really annoy us. You know men leaving the toilet seat up, burnt toast crumbs in the butter, dishes left in the sink, milk bottle left out on the bench, the bed unmade, grinding teeth, women using his razor to shave their legs. I’m sure we’ve all got our lists and we should revisit them another time.

But today, I’m feeling pretty happy and thought I’d focus on the positive. It’s not super news and it’s not sensational so probably will bore you to bits but I thought I’d post on things/attributes I really like in people and also things that I really like after all, this is all about me right?

Qualities that I really love in others include:

  • Demonstrabe and genuine interest
  • Consistency with just the odd surprise thrown in
  • Politeness
  • Diversity
  • An ability to follow through
  • Intelligence
  • Empathy
  • Respectfullness
  • Egalitarianism
  • Total honesty and most importantly . . .
  • Humour.

I’ve always subscribed to the ‘treat others as you would be treated’ dictum and think it’s a pretty fair way to approach the human race. If anything, it’s one of the creeds I live by the most. I’m hopeful that I treat others, both real and virtual with the same qualities listed above regardless of their sex, age, location or funny little quirks.

And on another note . . . because I have a number of youngling friends real and virtual, I want to set the record straight - my age does not define me darlings any more than youth is wasted on each of you . . .

The Benchwarmer (Age 22) “You’re a cranky ol mama with something interesting to say and stop looking at me with those disapproving eyes!”
(I am not cranky! I’m Grumpy there’s a very subtle difference)

Kahlerisms (Age 25) “You’re one of my favourite old people”.
Fwoooaaaarrrr, Heh, Meh, :P - at least I'm active on my blog!

Daz (Age 19): “I can’t believe I’m talking to someone who’s 50 . . . ”
Aww . . c’mon kid . . . close your eyes I sound like I'm 20

Ocky (Age 21) “Oooh Helen, you’d get on so well with my girlfriend’s mother, she’s a whacky old bird too”
Thank you Dan, I feel so much better knowing I'm part of a madwomen's circle.

DrummerBoy (Age 20) “You’re driving like a geriatric doing 40 in a 70 zone!” . .
I am not, I'm just on auto pilot, it's usually peakhour when I drive down this street . . .

So here goes, next time you think of us mature ladies as over-the-hill, think about what we have to offer

  • We won't wake you in the middle of the night and askwhat you're thinking?
  • We won't put pressure on you to marry us and start a family
  • If we don't want to watch the footy, we'll find something else to do that's more interesting
  • We don't yell anymore, we've worked out more sinister ways of getting our own back. Of course, if you deserve a repremand, we'll deny priviledges and shoot you if we can get away with it
  • We are more generous with praise often undeserved because we know what it's like to be unappreciated
  • We are psychic and know what you've been up to whether it's a quick one at the pub or a serious affair.
  • We have endless patience with the sad, the lonely, the lovelorn, the boring and the demented . . . especially those of us who have raised children!
  • Once you get past a wrinkle or two and the fact that everything is heading south, we're more sexy and far more experienced than our younger counterparts.
  • We're forthright and honest whether you like it or not, we'll tell you when you're being a jerk so you will always know where you stand.
  • We don't get embarrassed standing next to you if you look like a bucket of smashed crabs - we can see beyond the exterior

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. The world is full of paunchy relics making fools of themselves with some 22-year old. They're the sort that say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" But my sweet things, the worm is turning . . . these days we old battleaxes are realising that it's not worth buying the entire piggy just to get a little sausage!

Go the olds!
(I'm not quite that old yet mind you)


ClareBear said...

You reckon you don't scream? I beg to differ...

grannymar said...

Well said young Baino!

Baino said...

Oh poo you ClareBear, I haven't had a hormonal outburst since last month and I don't scream, I shout.

Thank you GrannyMar! Yer a champ!

Anonymous said...

Baino, you're ageless to me... I wouldn't care whether you were 2 or 82! Mind you if you were a two year old I'd be pretty impressed.

Daz said...

Hey, at least you're crazy like the rest of us in this asylum, unlike all the boring people out there with no fucking personalities or senses of humour.

Age has no bearing on eccentricity(or weirdness, as I have been called, and assured it's the same thing) so take your happy pills and join us in the padded day room ...

Baino said...

K8 if you were a bloke that would be enough to fuel my fantasies for a week.

Daz: Thank you I think . . . although I don't need the happy pills a glass of fizzy stuff and a dose of you does it for me.

Daz said...

I'm a drug now??

Cool. People always said I had an addictive personality ...