Wednesday, August 01, 2007

So What Did You Learn Today?

Whilst embracing my couch and killing a zillion trees via tissue consumpton (not eating them but using them) and getting high on pseudoephadrine *weeee*, I've noticed some things around the place that aren't always apparent. Today I learned:

  • Dogs sleep all day and audibly fart
  • TV producers think that children are stupid and insist on parading people in coloured dog costumes in front of them and it's supposed to pass as educational entertainment
  • News is misleading, boring and repetative . . . every frickin half hour the same footage and the same barbie doll with the immovable hair-do announces the same stories
  • We have more rabbits than previously thought and they're not afraid of sleeping dogs
  • At least 10 ducks visit my pool each day, lay dog sized cables on the coping stones then choof off unbothered by sleeping dogs
  • Dr Phil hasn't aged a day in ten years is he moisturising with formaldahyde?.
  • Oprah is getting fat again and says "Oh My God . . ." at least 16 times a show.
  • Wind chimes are REALLY annoying when it's breezy
  • There are more D movies than B movies at Blockbuster and I've watched them all (and K8, guess what's just hit the shelves "Idiocracy" had a giggle at that one)
  • I can go an entire day without uttering a word - now that's a breakthrough for someone who can talk the leg off a chair
  • DrummerBoy has gone out on strike in sympathy and has done bugger all for the last 2 days. I must contrive a To Do list.
  • BabyBro only spends five hours a day at work
  • I am desperate no mortified to the point of almost going to work this afternoon after being without internet access. I lost it for six hours this morning and was almost hyperventilating.
  • Ham, cheese and tomato toasties are fantastic
  • Dog hair travels at the speed of light and under my couch when the door is open, there's enough under there to knit a jumper.
  • It is possible to have 15 cups of tea a day
  • Thommo and TheBoss really love me, they called from the airport on their way to Vietnam this morning to wish me well but more importantly to tell me not to stress or kill Sgt Bilko while they're away.
  • All my towels are in DrummerBoy's room
  • Champagne doesn't do your sinuses much good but it dulls the pain
  • Thai Chicken Curry reverses the sinus problems caused by Champagne
  • I actually can live without the little MS chocolates on reception
  • Daz loves me because he comments on my blog!
  • Brian must be having a good time in Scranton because he doesn't.
  • Jefferson spends too much time on Skype
  • I miss annoying Kahler at work.
  • GrannyMar and K8 are totally reliable - I love yous ladies!, and . . .
  • Did I say that when the net goes down I get a bit towey?
Gawd, time to go and bark at crappy ducks!


Grandad said...

It's amazing the things people miss by not lazing around.

Are you an Internet Virus? If so, could you let me know when it's safe to visit again?

Baino said...

You're safe. The snot box has left the building. Just wanted to nail the virus before facing Sgt. Bilko alone for three weeks. He is my nemesis. Please, keep visiting . . . it's good for my health.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

So... we learn... dogs are wonderful but come with certain drawbacks.
Watching TV whilst sick is instant brain death.
No one can trust Dr Phil or Oprah.
Ducks can be hazardous and don't care.

And here's a new consideration - wasabi is excellent for clearing sinuses, flu and every other lurgy which dares to hang out in one's body!

Baino said...

What the! I completely forgot about wasabi! And I actually have a tube in the fridge. I'm coming back as a rich man/woman's dog or a duck! (sorry Atyllah)

Grannymar said...

Poor Baino, come on round and i will fix you a special Hot Toddie!

Daz said...

I have, in the past, had to use morphine and codeine because I broke a few bones in my lower back ...

The most blissful/agonising six weeks of my life.

Anonymous said...

Poor Baino!!! Keep up the good work with the champers and the hot curries. You could try feeding the ducks with these also. The results could be WAY more interesting than Dr.Phil/Oprah (who are in fact the same person I reckon)!

You should rent Idiocracy. It'd cheer you up :)

Don't kill anymore trees... just use your sleeves like the rest of us.

wordnerd said...

And we've learned that Baino can be quite witty indeed, even when sick! Too funny!

Baino said...

Ah thanks everyone. I'm much better this morning and off to work.